Do you compare your writing successes or failures to other writers?
I do.
(I’m working on it.)
To some extent, I think, this comparison is natural. We’re working alone on our manuscripts and suddenly get our Publisher’s Marketplace daily update or a friend posts about their latest book or that person in your writing group got a full request. Of course we are going to be tempted to measure our work against theirs.
If you are anything like me, however, you may only be comparing up, feeling less than to the writer who just landed the agent or secured the big book deal or launched their third book while you’re still editing your first. It can be hard when the writers in your writing group are “succeeding” or reaching milestones before you do. Their success, however, doesn’t mean you aren’t measuring up. There are so many subjective parts at play in the publishing business that aren’t reflections on your work or worth at all.
The big problem when comparison becomes our thief of joy: We often forget to look behind us in our race toward our goals.
(This writer and coach looks at self in the mirror)…
In my writing and my coaching business. I find myself in moments of frustration comparing my journey to someone more established or doing something more interesting. I forget about all the people who haven’t been brave enough to start a novel or launch a business. I ignore all the ways in which I’ve grown in my craft and my business knowledge through the years. I lose sight of the relationships I’ve gained and the writers I’ve worked with.
I spotted this little box turtle on my walk this week. I easily outpaced him after snapping this photo. Then a runner passed me, followed by a biker who whizzed past us both. We were all four of us–turtle, walker, runner, and biker–on the same path, heading toward the same place, simply moving at our own paces. It didn’t mean a darn thing that someone else got back to the trail head first. In fact, I enjoyed the slow pace I took. It afforded me the opportunity to spot my little friend here, watch the creek rush after the previous night’s storms, and relish in the relative cooler temperatures before another hot afternoon.
It got me thinking about all the beauty I’ve experienced in my writing life, all the successes I do have in my pocket even if they aren’t agent contracts or publishing deals (yet), all the breakthroughs I’ve watched my writers have who are now pushing through with new chapters and renewed creative vigor, all the amazing conversations I’ve had with writers at conferences or book readings or simply over coffee.
Those things are a part of the journey and aren’t things I want to rush past.
In writing and creative pursuits, speed isn’t the goal. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, we have goals for our work, but there is a reason I always talk about the writing journey. Ultimately, there is no “destination” for a writer. Isn’t the goal to be writing? To continue to use and share our creativity?
So how do we keep our eyes on our own road maps?
Work at your craft.
Learn and grow at your pace.
Continuously improve.
Make connections with other writers.
Have the deep and beautiful conversations about books.
And quit comparing your journey to others.
There is room on the trail for all of us.
Featured photo at top by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
Do you want a safe place to talk about where you are on your writing journey? I offer free discovery calls to writers where we can chat about your writing goals and challenges as well as discuss whether coaching or other resources might best fit your creative needs.