My apologies for my absence in this space lately. I have missed it, and you!
I needed to focus on my own writing in January, and while I typically can make time for this newsletter and other content to engage with you and other writers in the world, the month got the best of me.
My younger son had pneumonia that was a beast to get rid of. Worrying and caring for him took all my spare mental space.
Once he recovered, I was off to a book coaches retreat in Scottsdale. It was an amazing and restorative time with some phenomenal women, but any breaks I had were used for final edits.
Now, I’m home, but the pneumonia bug has tracked me down, too. 😷
I’m writing this in bed. Between coughing fits. Just wanting life to get back to “normal.” (As if I even know what that is with two teenage boys and their endless activities and needs, my husband’s job, and my own work/writing/life balance.)
Do you often wait for things to “settle down” in order to write? Keep putting off what you want to do for the perfect time?
It can be a dangerous game, can’t it? There is always something coming around the bend, whether we know it or not. Then we end up feeling like a failure or not like a “real” writer because we aren’t writing.
What can we do, then, to protect our writer selves from the slings and arrows of adulting?
There are some practical things you can do to protect your writing:
- Schedule realistic writing time. I say realistic because I was chatting with a friend recently who wanted to focus more on writing and had reserved Fridays for this purpose. Problem solved, right? Nope. She prioritized work tasks to try and “catch-up” (which is never really possible) and wasn’t being productive. The real problem? A day was too long and unstructured for her and she found it easier to cross off tasks that felt tangible. And often, creative writing isn’t to-do style work. She also admitted her best writing happend on retreats. We discussed how she could create that environment in more doable chunks each week–for example, writing at a coffee shop or other location free from distraction. Scheduling an hour with a latte was a lot easier and attractive for her to do consistently while still giving her flexibility on those “free” Fridays for unexpected tasks.
- Adjust your expectations. My friend who loved retreat writing where she could knock out big chunks of writing in a concentrated amount of time needed to adjust her at-home-writing expectations. Writing 3,000 words each Friday just isn’t realistic for her typical patterns. But knowing she could create consistency with her coffee dates assuaged that productivity anxiety. For me, I needed to adjust my expectations in January that I could do ALL THE THINGS when honestly, to do a good job on my revision, I needed to focus on one thing.
- Commit to coming back. Sometimes the real world will simply demand your time and there is little we can do about that. But knowing you’ve committed to coming back to your work will reassure that inner writer you aren’t abandoning her. Pick a date to reevaluate whether you now have the time to restart a writing routine, even a small one. If it’s not feasible yet, commit to another future date for a check-in. Sometimes, just knowing a date is on the calendar will free your mental space up to deal with whatever challenge is in your way and offer you the grace to return to the writing when you’re ready.
And sometimes, the best thing you can do is give yourself some grace. There is a season for everything and if you are a writer, you will make the time for it when you can. Trust your writer’s heart.
Right now, I’m going to go cough a little more and take a nap and drink some water.
If you’re needing a break right now, take it. If writing helps you process your stress or the news or relaxes you after a busy day, do it. Both are right. Both are valid.
Take care of you.
Sending virtual (and germ-free) hugs,
Monica
PS – I’m moving to Substack. This content will still be available here on the blog on my website, but if Substack is a place you hang out in as well, I’d love to see you there. I’ll post a welcome announcement here next week when it’s live. See you there!