As an oldest daughter who found herself in gifted programs, on the AP track, lauded for her essay writing skills without feeling like I was trying too hard, and told math just wasn’t my subject when I struggled a little more in those classes, imagine my surprise when I got to college and things got real.
I assumed that classes I found hard (hello Econ, Stat, and Astronomy (and let’s not ask how this non-science person decided Astronomy was going to be the best class to fill that science requirement)) just meant they were outside my wheelhouse.
“I am not a math person.”
“I am an English person.”
“I don’t take standardized tests well.”
“Writing papers is easy for me.”
These were some of the stories I told myself in high school, college, and beyond that internalized things I was good at were easy and things that were hard just weren’t for me.
The fact is, when things feel harder to learn, I tend to look for the escape hatch.
This doesn’t happen all the time. I have taken plenty of courses and advanced in plenty of jobs where I navigated new skills. But if those new skills don’t come relatively easily…well, let’s just say, I start to tell a story that releases me from needing to know them in the first place.
Which is completely unrealistic behavior when running a business.
I have had to learn website design, copywriting, a ton of marketing tools, and navigate new software to create courses, handle accounting, and manage my projects.
And yet, each time I have to learn something, I get upset.
“Why don’t I just know this?” (Um, because I don’t…yet!)
“Why is this hard for me? It must be easier for others. I must be stupid.” (Um, no, I just haven’t done it before).
“Learning this is taking time away from other work and feels like a waste.” (Yes, it’s time consuming sometimes, but I’m learning new skills that will help future me work more effectively in the future).
“Buying a new course/book/software/whatever is just money out the door.” (Or it’s an investment in my skillset).
As one does at this time of year, I’m taking a hard look at the year ahead and I have big goals. Big goals for my writing and how I want to create this new project. Big goals for my business with new services and opportunities to help more writers in revision.
In order to play big in these sandboxes, I am going to need support.
I am going to need to learn some new things.
And that is going to make me uncomfortable.
In fact, it already has. This month has my stomach constantly twisted in a knot as I plan for things that are going to be a stretch for me creatively and in my business.
Which means, I needed to try something new.
I’ve decided to lean into a business coaching program for myself. Because without it, I will spend all my time looking for the escape hatch for these individual hard things I want.
I’m tired of escaping.
I’m ready to step into my future as a writer and a book coach.
I talk a lot about how my values are rooted in creativity and connection. My writing and coaching both grow from these roots. If I want to feed my writing and my coaching this year, I need to provide them the right kind of support.
So I’m doing that. Filled with fear and excitement and a reminder that a growth mindset is about the effort, the learning, the progressing.
I can’t know it all yet. No one can.
But I can try. And stop looking for the exit signs.
All this to say, I see you. All you writers out there who are still learning, struggling, trying. All you writers who think maybe this writing life isn’t for you when it starts to get tricky or you have to learn structure to augment your elegant prose or get feedback that points you in the direction of further learning.
And I especially see you if, like me, you’re thinking if it doesn’t come easily then it isn’t part of your inherent talent and therefore you quit.
Well, dear friend, I am here to tell you that is straight up bull shit. (Which I say here to remind myself most of all).
Simone Biles is probably the best gymnast in the world in our lifetime, but are any of us foolish enough to think she doesn’t have to put hours into the gym to practice and learn new skills all the time? I doubt it.
Michael Jordan definitely practiced.
Steve Jobs may have created the iPhone, but how many of his other ideas never made it past development?
We all need support, feedback, and guidance to keep us from dashing toward the exit.
I’m getting mine this year.
What do you need to learn in 2026?
If you are looking for some support, feedback, and guidance in your writing this year, I invite you to reach out.
Let’s do this big thing in 2026 together.
Note: This will probably be my last post for 2025. I am taking some time next week to be with my family. I wish you all the happiest of holidays filled with rest, books, cookies, snuggles, and whatever else brings you joy.