It’s no secret I am a woman of a certain age (the kind of age with a big 0 coming after it in January) and all the fun challenges that come with it. I am also a woman attempting to write and publish novels. A woman entrepreneur working to build this coaching business in order to help more writers. A mom with a kid in college and a kid in high school. A band booster volunteer. A wife. And a card carrying member of the sandwich generation.
With a plate so full, what am I holding back on?
Permission.
I know that seems counterintuitive, but I’m slowly realizing that I have not given myself permission to do any of the things I want to do in a big way.
I hold back in my writing.
I hold back in my business.
I allow things that aren’t priorities to take up more space.
Why?
Fear, probably. Imposter syndrome, definitely. And, sadly, because I keep waiting for someone to tell me how to do all this.
Guess what?
That person is me.
And so recently, I have written myself a permission slip.
I am giving myself permission to write big this coming year, to step into coaching spaces that I have been hesitating on the periphery of, to say yes to my big dreams by saying no to the small things that get in the way.
Yes, it’s semantics. But it’s already made a difference in progress I’ve made on projects important to me in the last week.
As we enter this season of gratitude, I urge you to write your own permission slips.
Perhaps you need permission to…
Take a break
Start that story
Put that other story aside
Write in a new genre
Self-publish
Query
Start that blog/podcast/newsletter
Try that hobby
Raise your hand for that scary thing you secretly wish you were doing
Quit that task you resent taking up your time
Join a new community
Or something else entirely!
Whatever it is, I hope you move toward granting yourself the space to want it, pursue it, and achieve it.
And, if like me, you need someone else to give you permission to do these things, I grant it to you with zero strings attached.
Let’s step into our wildest dreams.
The Summer Day by Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean —
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
If you are giving yourself permission to do what it takes to finish your novel in 2026, let’s chat. I help writers create a plan to revise and finish their projects without overwhelm.
If you’ve been following along in this space, hopefully you’ve found some tips to help with your writing project.
You may even have purchased the Revision Road Map, the self-paced mini-course to help you triage and organize your revision.
But what if you find yourself still struggling with your story? Something is not working, you just can’t figure out what?
One-on-one coaching support can be the vehicle for your story breakthrough.
A coach provides personalized support, customized exercises, and in-depth feedback to help you finish your story, elevate your writing, and enjoy the process again. Or at least that’s my goal when working with a writer.
When can a book coach serve your process best?
Getting clarity on a new idea. Because if you’ve been here for any amount of time, you know I love a metaphor–you can go to the grocery store without a list or a plan, wander the aisles, finally decide on what you want to make for dinner then head back to produce for that key ingredient you didn’t think to grab when you first passed the vegetable bins, and end up making a decent meal. Until tomorrow comes around and you’re back in the store wandering again. Working with a coach is like planning out your weekly meal plan, organizing your list by store section, and shopping more efficiently and effectively so when you get home you’re stocked with all your favorites and the ingredients you need for a week’s worth of dinners.When you have a new idea, a coach can help you flesh it out and create a plan of attack for drafting your novel so you don’t start in the wrong place or chase a subplot down a rabbit hole for 20,000 words before realizing it dead ends. Whether you are a panster or a plotter, a coach can help you create a story foundation that will make drafting a more efficient experience.
Writing forward. How many of you are doing Novel November as a way to stay on track? We need these kinds of accountability hacks to stay the course on self-imposed deadlines. They work for a reason.A book coach can provide accountability during the drafting process by working with you to set realistic but challenging deadlines as well as give feedback so you never have to feel alone in the process. Working with a coach as you write forward ensures you are learning along the way and applying new skills as you write resulting in an initial draft that will be stronger than it would have been without support.
In revision. Revision can feel overwhelming once you have this giant manuscript. If we stick with our dinner prep metaphor, revision is getting those ingredients home and prepped, then using a recipe to ensure you are putting the ingredients in the pan in the right order.A coach will help you identify what is and isn’t working in a manuscript and create a plan to address the revision in an intentional way. In other words, a coach can help you develop your own revision recipe so that the meal isn’t just edible, but worthy of serving to your most discerning dinner party guests.
If you have been working on a draft or revision and hoping for a different outcome, consider adding a coach to process. Outside eyes and personalized instruction can be just the thing to get you out of your writing rut and creating the manuscript you envisioned.
Investing in a coach is investing in your own creative process.
As you ponder your 2026 writing goals, I invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me to discuss whether coaching is right for you and where you are in your writing journey.
Let’s make 2026 the year you honor your writing life.
It has been a long time since I’ve written new words.
Back in the winter, I was revising my previous manuscript to get it in shape for submission. Then there was the great pneumonia infection of 2025 (0 out of 5 stars, do not recommend). Then we merged straight into spring senior activities, graduation, college prep, and college drop off. In the middle of all that, I had some agent drama and ended up switching agents. This fall, I’ve been adjusting to my older son being gone while still navigating the younger one’s jam-packed schedule, several speaking engagements, and doing background work on a new story idea.
My annual writer’s retreat scheduled for the end of October was a light at the end of this very dark calendar tunnel. I desperately wanted to be writing during the retreat, but as the days in October quickly flew by, I was nervous I wouldn’t actually be ready.
Then, in the midst of my prep work slog (the constant exploration of what ifs and how abouts and would this be interstings), I had a breakthrough premise moment just days before departure that linked these pesky characters with a purpose.
Whew!
I arrived at the beach a little anxious—it has been a long time since I sat at the keyboard and willed my fingers to just fly. What if I couldn’t remember how or that the idea wouldn’t hold up? What if all I did was stare at the ocean and get no closer to writing? What if I suck at this after all?
Armed with my notes and the encouragement of the two writers I went on retreat with, I sat down and started typing.
I wrote approximately 4,100 words the first day, 2,500 the second, 4,700 the third, and 3,500 the last.
Cue the angels singing! 👼👼👼
It felt amazing!!
Are these words that will make it into the eventual draft? Maybe not. But they were words that allowed me to shape scenes again, write my way into character voice, and figure out all I still didn’t know about my characters.
Most importantly, these words gave me my mojo back. They reminded me I can do this. That I LOVE this. That writing is fun and challenging and fulfilling and the work of my heart.
I did so much journaling in addition to new words that if I counted all the words I scrawled in my journal, I would probably be shocked by how much writing I actually did last week.
All this to say, it felt f*ing fantastic!
What made the difference writing on retreat from writing at home?
Dedicated time away. I block my retreat week free of client work. No coaching, no volunteer tasks, time away from my day-to-day family tasks. The freedom to only focus on my writing means I can immerse myself in the story and think of nothing else. It’s a writing magic reset for me.
This type of experience is hard to come by when I’m at my desk and balancing afternoon pick-ups, a dentist appointment, and a list of to dos.
I know not everyone can afford the cost or time of a week long retreat, but here is how we did it on the relative cheap:
Picking Dates
We look at off-season dates to ensure we get the best rates possible. Late September/October seem to be the sweet spots for us where the rates have gone down but the weather still allows beach walks and the occasional outdoor writing session.
Disclaimer – in the past, we typically did three days and realized that wasn’t enough. The last two years, we’ve opted for four full days and that has made all the difference for all of us.
Picking a Spot
Again, with experience, we know what works for us: beachfront, views, common spaces conducive to writing.
Beyond that, we make it work.
We have one person in our group who does a little research and sends us a list of her top three or four finds that are available during our dates and we vote.
We then simply split the cost of the rental three (or four, when we have our full complement of writers) ways.
Meals
We each bring our own supplies for our own breakfasts, lunches, and snacks.
We usually go out to dinner together, though this year, a lovely husband donated a deliciously prepared meal for our arrival night which may become a new tradition. We saved on the cost of a meal out and it was lovely to just get in, unpack, and not worry about leaving again after the long drive.
That’s it. This year, my share of the cost for the full week of lodging and meals was around $550.
The beauty is that you can make a retreat out of whatever you want and have. Here are a few things to keep in mind, beyond budget:
Find a couple of writing friends who you think you’d work well with
Who works early in the morning vs. late at night? Can you accommodate those parameters so the early birds aren’t waking up the night owls and vice versa?
What are your goals for the retreat? While we love catching up and chatting, we are there to work. If you have someone looking at this as part vacation, that might not vibe with the rest of you. If you’re all looking at it as part vacation, then great. Just make sure you are all on the same page…or at least in the same chapter.
I know many folks imagine a quiet cabin in the woods as the perfect retreat, and I do love that image, but I find having others in the weeds of their own stories makes for some interesting conversations over dinner. Helping them work through their story issues always breaks something open in my own project. Plus, we have all adapted parts of our processes from each other for the better, and those are things you can’t see when you aren’t working in close proximity. The communal purpose is a primary reason I attend this retreat each year.
Prepare before you go
Understand what you would like to accomplish and try to be realistic with your goal. This year, we all had different goals: one was revising the character arc for one POV character, another was going through a list of revision tasks after a read through with the only goal of making progress on the list (she crossed off every last item!), and I wanted to get my characters in action on the page with new words so dedicated one day to each POV character I had in mind (luckily I have four characters and we had four days!).
Do the leg work. Each of us came prepared. I had done some deep level preparation work before arriving so I would be ready to hit the page running. None of us simply showed up with our manuscript waiting for some magic to tell us what we should be working on. We all prepared so we’d be able to maximize our time the most effectively.
Think through what materials you’ll need. I made sure to pack my journal, a craft book that’s been helpful to me as I prepared, and an inspirational book on writing to boost my spirits after any rough writing sessions.
Pivot
You may have planned and set a goal and then arrived and your manuscript or characters had other ideas. Be prepared but be flexible! There is something special about being in a new location and eliminating distractions that might shake something loose that you need to pursue. Be sure it’s not a shiny object distraction, but be open to what your subconscious offers up when you have time to focus on nothing but your writing.
Take note of your process. When I draft, I typically write forward and that’s the extent of it. This year, I noticed I was doing a lot of reflection to go deeper into these characters earlier than I usually do. I adjusted to add this reflection time to the end of my afternoon sessions and I am so glad I did. It’s given me a road map of things to explore in my story now that I’m home.
Honor Yourself
Recognize your needs. Want to skip the group walk on the beach for some solo thinking? Do it. Want to ask a friend to help you with a thorny section? Speak up (and be sure to be flexible with when they are willing to offer their time). Make sure you’re getting rest and working in positions that support your body.
I am big on journaling during these retreats and recommend a little of the same for you. It could just be an entry on day one and one just before you leave to see what’s changed in your story, in your process, in you, or to simply make a list of things you want to do with the story when you get back. Either way, take some time to honor the retreat for your future writer working away from this distraction free zone.
Now, maybe you can’t get away for a week. Consider how you can create some magic closer to home.
Designate your own or a writer friend’s home as the retreat spot. Bring snacks and have a day of writing a friend with a nice lunch in the middle to break up your writing sessions.
Can you get away for a hotel stay in town for one night? I know many writers who swear by this technique.
Family away for the weekend? Try an at home retreat and ignore the laundry and typical weekend errands to take advantage of the quiet.
Designate one Saturday or Sunday a month as retreat day and ask your family to respect your space and time. Maybe work at a library that day or sequester yourself in your room while your partner takes care of the house or errands.
Whatever you do, as we enter into this busy holiday season, I challenge you to find ways to prioritize your writing time. Even if that means only using cracks of your available time in the next two months, brainstorming how you’ll prioritize making that time in 2026.
Have more questions about our writer’s retreat? Ask in the comments! I am happy to answer anything from logistics to how I prepared for the week.
Have a retreat coming up and want to be prepared? I can walk you through my Start Your Novel with Confidence package which nails down all the key elements of your story so you can write forward with confidence. Great for writers starting a new project, writers stuck in the middle, or writers about to embark on revising who want to ensure their story foundation is solid. Quick and easy and under $100.
Perfection is elusive and subjective and f*ing impossible to grasp.
I’m at my annual writer’s retreat with a couple of friends at the beach this week. The weather? Not perfect. We’ve been battling the wind every time we go for a walk, which we have to slot in between rain showers.
Ideal?
Nope.
Does it matter?
Not in the long run.
Sure, the longer walks we take each year can be magic for brainstorming and breakthroughs. That’s a lot harder to do when we are shouting over the wind to be understood.
Instead, these walks are perfect for their laughter as we stumble through the sand.
And the week’s not over yet. There may be sun in our future. Right now, I can see a tiny sliver of blue sky through the clouds (though I know more rain is looming on the radar for later).
What is happening is one writer getting reassurance we’d read past page two, another discovering a key change in perspective in her character, and me? I’m writing new words in a new project.
Will we walk away from this retreat with anything perfect?
Hell no.
But we will walk away with a new understanding of our stories, a better paragraph/page/chapter, and sand in our sandbox for future castle building.
Perfection doesn’t exist. Not in our writing or how our careers unfold or in a writing retreat.
I’m chasing instead the small victories that will make me a better–not perfect–writer:
🏃New knowledge
🏃Mentors
🏃Growth in my skills from manuscript to manuscript
Overwriting, or writing long, is an annoying problem but with an easy to identify fix—cut unnecessary scenes, edit out filter words, tighten your writing.
But what happens if you’re a lean writer? That can be a harder problem to solve.
I often find myself working with lean writers, probably because I am one, too.
Lean writers are writers who:
Might be more focused on plot/action/the “what happened” of the story
Take show don’t tell to the extreme and rely on somatic cues
Are early in the revision process and just finished telling the story to themselves in the draft phase
There is NOTHING wrong with a lean manuscript in the draft phase. But it does mean we need to spend some time understanding why your manuscript is lean during the revision phase in order to beef up the right things for our next drafts.
The most common culprit for lean writing I see among writers I work with is rushing from scene action to scene action.
I spend a lot of time telling writers to let the scene breathe.
Okay, Monica, what does that mean?
When you rush from one action and decision to another, the reader isn’t invited into the thought process of the character. Suddenly, Susie is out the door to the next thing and we aren’t sure why or how she feels about what just happened or why it matters to her.
In other words, the reader is probably not connecting with Susie at all.
Take a look at your favorite action movie that has a memorable character.
Die Hard: Full of explosions and chaos, but we meet our protagonist, John McClane, on the plane, heading to LA from NY to spend Christmas with his family and hoping to save his marriage. All of his actions in the “busy” part of the movie are motivated by his cop ethos to serve and protect, and to get back to his wife and family. We see this protection and family mindset throughout the movie during his conversations with the LA Police Officer over the radio.
The Bourne Identity: The action in this movie is fast, decisions are made quickly, and the plot is super pacey, and yet the viewer connects with the character through his relationship with Marie, a woman he ends up on the run with when he asks her to drive him to Paris. There are moments of breathing room where he grapples with his amnesia and the fact that he knows how to do things he doesn’t understand. We can identify with his desire to understand himself and escape the chase and find some peace.
If fast-paced movies like this can effectively find breathing room to allow us to root for their protagonists, surely our fiction manuscripts have the space to do this as well.
Breathing room on the page can be interactions with other characters processing information, like it is in these action movie examples, or it can be present as in interiority.
Layering emotion, meaning, and internal debate into your scenes is the best way to stretch a work while adding that magical character arc that pulls your reader through the story.
Here are three places in your manuscript to analyze to see if you need to add a little breathing room to your stories:
Tip 1: Look at your BIG scenes first
Find your big plot point scenes—your inciting incidents, your twists, your midpoint, your climax, your all is lost—and look for:
How quickly are you in and out of that scene?
Are you allowing space for your character to be uncomfortable? Or allowing space for your character to make others uncomfortable?
Does the reader understand the character’s misbelief in those scenes and how it might be impacting their decisions (either by still being omnipresent and controlling at the start of the story or later by slowly changing to a new belief system)?
What is your character feeling in those moments (and not just stomach churning and rapid heart rates (more on that in tip 2), dig deeper)?
See if you can add more intentional interiority to ramp up the tension and the payoff of these scenes.
Tip 2: Look for somatic cues
One of the most common places I see a lack of interiority is when writers rely on somatic cues to impart emotion.
“Her heart raced.”
Okay. That could be that the character is hiding something or afraid of something or excited by something. Is it clear which one?
While there are probably context clues in the scene (we understand Elizabeth Bennett’s heart racing when Mr. Darcy offers his hand to help her in the carriage is different from the way a heart races when an alien pops out of someone’s stomach), it doesn’t really tell the reader anything about this specific character.
Check your somatic cues and ensure that the reader understands what’s going on inside this specific character’s physical reactions. If there is a sigh, is it wistful, anxious, frustrated, releasing, etc…? Make sure we understand that. Don’t leave the reader to fill in too many blanks. It’s a tricky balance because you also don’t want to spell things out in such an obvious way you’ve insulted the reader. Consider these show don’t tell moments as a connect the dots puzzle. You want to lead the reader to the next dot while leaving room for them to fill in the picture themselves. The best way to ensure your reader ends up with the same picture as you is to include some narrative meaning dots.
Bonus tip: Check around your dialogue. This is a place where writers tend to rely on somatic reactions. Can you give the reader more in those moments?
Tip 3: Check your trajectory
Oh no, Monica, you’re not talking about story trajectory again!?!
Yes!! Again!!
I will preach story trajectory until the cows come home.
If your scenes are reading like a litany of “and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened,” your reader is missing the meaning of the story and why your character is on this wild ride.
Give us a peek into their decision making, their processing, their reactions to the consequences of their actions. Are they recommitting or rethinking? Are they disappointed or relieved? Are they intrigued or confused? The reader will then be curious to see what they do next with this information.
Bombarded with simple action then action then action doesn’t give your reader time to anticipate, and anticipation is part of the joy of reading. Without it, you leave the reader cold and unsatisfied during your big reveals.
Remember, scenes should lead to other scenes. The protagonist faces an obstacle and makes a decision or takes an action, there is a consequence to this choice or action that you can allow your protagonist to agonize over for a little so they can make their next decision or action, which inevitably leads to a new consequence…Make sure your scenes are linked by “because of that” and that the reader is privy to all the facets of the “that.”
When you’ve identified all the places where you can add layers, work one scene at a time. Stretch out that tension. Take us deep in the reader’s mind. Let us ride the roller coaster alongside them, not just watch them from the ground when we only catch glimpses of them as they speed past.
Let your characters, and your scenes, breathe.
Not sure where your manuscript needs layering? I have a couple of spots still open for one-on-one coaching and manuscript evaluations in November. With both, we’ll look at your story, find the opportunities, and create a next steps plan to guide you.
Contact me below and let’s see where you can add more breathing room to your story.
Want more tips on revision? Check out this Fiction Writing Made Easy episode featuring 5 book coaches giving 5 tips to help you revise without overwhelm. Listen wherever you get podcasts (or click on the picture to go straight to Apple podcasts) and be sure to give it a rating or review if you enjoyed the episode so more writers can find these tips!
What is it like to work with a book coach on your project?
Let’s take a look at some feedback I received from a writer I worked with to get the real feel.
“First, the whole process was very professional and thoughtful. Then there was the feedback. It was organized in a way that was helpful and not overwhelming. It was very specific which helped me get a sense for why something wasn’t working. I also appreciated the open ended questions and ways the feedback got me thinking.”
I want to break this down:
Working with a coach is a professional relationship. I take it seriously which means I take you and your project seriously. As a writer, I know how close these stories are to our hearts and so I will never take the responsibility of giving feedback to you lightly.
I will be thorough, but my job is to always organize what I see into patterns for you. I think this makes it easier to learn and apply new skills across your manuscript, not just in one paragraph.
I am the question asker. If I think something isn’t clear or that you can dig deeper, I’m going to push on that spot with lots of questions. Sure, I could say “more emotion here” and go about my day, but I think asking the writer questions will help you dive deeper to truly capture your story.
I want to leave you thinking. And excited. And invigorated! When a writer gets to a place of inviting in feedback it’s often because we (and I include myself here because samesies) don’t know what’s not working anymore. We may even feel a little blah about our stories. When we are finished working together, I want you to feel armed and ready to attack another round of revision/planning/drafting with renewed energy and enthusiasm for your story.
The writer went on…
“I really liked how my story had evolved but it didn’t feel “done.” After receiving feedback and meeting with you, I can see the story getting better. And while I have work to do, I don’t see it taking a long time. Again, the feedback was very specific, which makes all the difference.”
Specific feedback and next steps. That’s what you get when you work with me. Whether it’s a manuscript evaluation, planning your next idea, or walking through a revision plan. The goal is for you to have the tools needed to elevate your story to the next level. I never want you leaving one of our calls thinking, “Well, now what?”
Sometimes, we just don’t know what we don’t know yet. I want to help you see your stories in a new way, walk you through any new skills you may need, and provide you with the confidence you need to do the hard work.
Because as a coach, I can’t do the hard work for you.
Sorry.
But you can.
“I wasn’t sure how I’d answer the questions about [story specifics redacted] without dumping a bunch of information. But the minute you walked me through how to [story specifics redacted] a light bulb went off.”
With me as your coach, I’ll be your light switch.
Don’t write in the dark any more.
Schedule a free consultation to discuss your story and how I can help you make your manuscript shine.
Why a gathering of writers is this introvert’s favorite kind of party
This summer I went to a birthday party for a friend. On my way, I was nervous. I would know the birthday girl and perhaps one other person there. The rest of the guests? No clue.
But I adjusted my side pony (I mean, I wasn’t going to skip an 80s party) and headed over.
During the party, I got to spend time catching up with our mutual friend and then did the rounds of introductions and trying to find commonality with strangers I’d never see again and whew, for this introvert, it was a lot.
Several months later, I can’t tell you who I met or very much about them. Not because they were boring, we had some interesting conversations, but our connections were superficial at best.
Fast forward to this past weekend at the Broadleaf Writers Conference.
The connections I made this weekend were immediate, deep, and many I know will last beyond the magic of the weekend.
Why?
Shared purpose.
We are writers.
We walked into this space with a shared vulnerability. We all work on this very internal process–putting words on a page to tell a story that means something to us–that we then put out into the world for someone else to ingest and view with their own lens.
That is no easy thing.
We also came to this space with a common goal: to learn. From the presenters and panelists, from the agents and critiques, from simple hallway/lunch/dinner conversations with fellow attendees about their process, struggles, and wins.
I learned so much from picking the brains of the agents and publishers there (how non-fiction is changing (platform, platform, platform!) and various agent query in-box strategies (guys, they are inundated, don’t be offended at the long waits, they are trying!)).
I learned about research and world building and character building from some amazing panelists. I learned how some well-accomplished writers created their dual timeline stories and the challenges and tactics they employ to ensure the reader experience is seamless.
I learned what so many writers are working on, their goals, their struggles, and how, as a coach, I can best provide support.
I learned the power in how far I had come. I attended this conference in 2018 as a baby writer. And while I will always have things to learn, I attended this year as a presenter and mentor and agented who was on the side of giving advice and help to other writers. It was completely strange and empowering.
I am a writer who is still learning and a coach who is still growing, and in spaces like these, we can find the kinds of communities to do both.
My OG writing buddy and critique partner, Kristine Rudolph, who introduced me to Broadleaf.
After the conference, how do you keep that magic alive?
You stay in touch. You follow one another on Instagram or Substack. You buy each other’s books. You attend each other’s events. You get brave and ask that writer you chatted with at lunch who is also writing in your genre if they’ll be your beta reader. You reach out and ask questions. You go back to your notes and strive to make your writing stronger.
When writers come together, it’s not just another party where we leave and maybe have a fun anecdote.
We leave changed a little.
In how we approach our stories. In the network of writing colleagues we are creating. In resources we can now tap when we need help.
We leave fuller, inspired, motivated, and hopefully empowered to return to the page and DO. THE. THING.
Zachary Steele created Broadleaf when he couldn’t find the kind of writing community that resonated with him. So he made one.
If you can’t find a community near you, consider creating one.
Start small, grow slowly.
Find those who share your purpose.
Offer each other support. Learn from one another. Be open and accepting and curious.
Finding your people doesn’t have to mean traveling to a conference (although if it’s possible for you, I do encourage it). There are tons of writing communities out there. Google writing communities in your local area. Check for local meet-ups or ask at your local, independent bookstore or library. Attend author events, classes, and workshops. Look for online communities.
Create the party you want to attend and make sure when the new kid arrives not knowing anyone, you save them a seat and simply ask: “What are you working on?”
Then watch the magic happen.
So, pull up a virtual chair next to me…what are you working on?
I have been posting on this blog for a long time. It is one of my favorite places to spend time every week. But since it’s been a while, I thought I’d take an opportunity to tell you a little bit about myself…I’m more than just some pixels in your daily scroll.
I am a writer of women’s fiction with a manuscript currently on submission (send all the chocolate).
I studied Journalism at UNC Chapel Hill where I was also a member of the color guard for the Marching Tar Heels. I unapologetically bleed Carolina blue.
I worked in public and media relations in Washington, DC, then Atlanta. I was a media tour producer for a while and have whispered in the ear pieces of several interesting people like Tipper Gore, Jamie Oliver, a Surgeon General, a NASCAR driver or two, Olympic athletes, politicians, and Cal Ripken. It sounds glamorous, but it was usually a pre-5am call time with bad coffee, stale bagels, and being stuck in a control room for four hours with no sunshine or bathroom break.
On a location shoot in Louisville<,KY
I have two boys: one is a freshman at Purdue and the other is a sophomore in high school. They are my favorite people, even if I don’t understand half of what they talk about between the meme speak and their aerospace/car engineering minds.
I met my husband in high school. Yup. We were high school sweethearts and got married the summer after I graduated college. We celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary this past summer.
I am a book coach! I coach writers through their revision process. I struggled so much with getting a handle on revising as a writer. I spent a lot of time wading through different strategies until I finally found one that worked. One that allows me to see the big picture story, shape it, enhance it, then polish it. I love teaching that system to writers and watching their eyes widen when they finally make a breakthrough in their own revision.
I also coach high school seniors on their college application essays. I found that the heart of a college essay and the heart of a novel are not all that different when it comes to storytelling. Applying my novel coaching skills to this group has been a blast this year and I am enjoying working with each and every one of these kids.
I am a member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. These writers are my lifeline. The generosity, support, and friendship I have found there is truly life changing.
I live outside Raleigh, NC, now in the perfect location to day-trip to either the mountains or the beach (but who can stay in either locale for just a day? Not me!).
I am currently struggling to noodle out a new manuscript idea. I am hoping to have a story plan together before my October writing retreat (at the beach!) so I can dig into new words by then.
I have a cat who is, as all great cats should be, an ornery pain in my butt who I desperately love and want to snuggle with (when he deigns me with his presence). Alas, he loves our 15 year old the most.
I love reality TV, especially Below Deck. One of my prized possessions is the Cameo my husband got for me from Captain Lee that was well beyond the time he promised and was one of the most lovely messages I have ever received.
I will read just about anything and love literary works with the same passion as the fluffiest of escapist novels on my shelf.
My favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, but only if it’s white. Not the green stuff.
What else? If there is anything you’re dying to know about me, ask below!
And since it’s only fair that I get to know you, too, leave your favorite ice cream flavor in the comments.
Frustrated with your revision process?
Not even sure what you’re doing as you revise would be considered a process?
I can help! I provide comprehensive feedback to help you see your work in new ways. I will set you up for success with a customized revision plan for your novel complete with next steps designed to help you focus and finish your revision.
Want to know more? Schedule a free consultation to discuss your project challenges.
Football season is back and our television seems to be on non-stop with teams pushing up and down the field. I grew up around football, enough to have a deep appreciation for the game. My football coach uncle spent a Super Bowl party when I was a toddler teaching me all the referee signals (clipping is still a personal favorite). I participated in marching band through college and now have a kid in marching band, meaning, I have attended (and continue to attend) my fair share of football games at many levels of the game. Add in a kid who is participating in a game day drumline at Purdue and now we’re watching even more football each weekend than I thought possible.
While the NFL games streamed into my living room Sunday afternoon, I caught the sideline reporter discussing Pete Carroll’s return to the game after a year away.
She described how early in his career he admitted he was coaching individual games. Each new opponent required a new plan. At some point, he picked up Vince Lombardi’s book on coaching and realized he didn’t have a coaching philosophy. His week-to-week approach was exhausting and ineffective. He needed something bigger to anchor his teams and their approach to the game.
In thinking through his own strengths, he realized he was uber competitive and used that as an anchor point for his teams. Everything changed and success followed.
I was thinking about this as the game continued.
Being competitive isn’t a philosophy. Especially in professional athletics. Aren’t most athletes competitive? Aren’t most coaches? They wouldn’t have risen through the ranks to these professional heights without being competitive.
It seemed slightly simplistic to me to say being competitive is a coaching philosophy.
So, I did some research. In an interview Carroll expounded on his philosophy:
“The philosophy is really always compete. I’ll use the competition word so much that people get sick of hearing me say it, but competing to me is defined as striving for excellence. It’s not about trying to beat somebody and rub their nose in the dirt.
That’s not it, it’s about striving in everything that you’re doing. You’re trying to the best you possibly can be. That’s the mentality that drives this program, so this competition is the central theme in our program. Our guys will hear it, and they’ll know where we’re coming from about that.”
Always compete is definitely a philosophy. One that probably resonates with the teams he’s coaching. But saying it isn’t enough.
Imagine just writing the word COMPETE on the locker room white board and hoping that the players get it, internalize it, and apply it in a game time situation.
Probably won’t happen.
But being specific about ALWAYS COMPETE can trickle into all aspects of the coaching relationship and game preparation. Whether it’s in practice, making a defensive stop, going for it on fourth down, or making choices about training or rest, ALWAYS COMPETE can guide decisions by the individual and the collective.
That’s a philosophy.
Now, what does any of this have to do with writing?
Your story needs a philosophy, too.
When I’m working with a writer – whether it’s on their novel or a kid working on their college essay – I want to know what is your story point?
That point, the high level lasting message of what your writing is about, is your coaching philosophy equivalent.
When you know your story point, you can easily apply that to a sticky scene, character development, or selecting an anecdote for your college essay, in the same way an athlete can look to always compete when lining up for the next play.
If what you’re writing doesn’t touch on, reiterate, or challenge the point, then what is the point?
This tactic of finding a philosophy/point/whatever you want to call it, isn’t new or unique to football or to writing.
Defining my personal coaching point allows me to focus my business, attract and help the kinds of clients I can best serve, and approach each project with kindness and generosity.
Understanding my family point makes it easy to prioritize my free time.
Defining my overall values makes it easy to say yes to projects that align and no to those that don’t.
But, we can often get overwhelmed by the complexity and vastness of our stories and lose our way.
That’s why understanding your story point is so important. It is the north star that can guide you when you start to feel lost.
Can you define your story point? One that, like always compete, can guide your planning, drafting, revising, or querying? One that centers you and grounds you immediately into your story goals?
To get started on defining your story’s point, spend some time free-writing with the following questions in mind:
What your story is about?
What you are trying to say?
What you want the reader to feel/do/decide/think at the end of your story?
Now, read over what you’ve written. Can you distill all that down to a short phrase like always compete, love conquers evil, family can be created, destiny can be determined, etc….?
Your point may sound like cliché. That’s okay. Clichés are simplifications, but your story is not. But using this simplification will keep that complex story on track.
Once you take some time to understand your specific story point, I challenge you to define your writing point.
The writing life is a tough one, filled with rejection and long waits. Creating a point or philosophy for your writing life will keep you motivated and in the game.
Writers may not get the same accolades and paychecks as our professional athletes and coaches, but our ability to stay in the game is often what makes the difference between a wannabe writer and one who sticks it out long enough to finish the story of their heart or get it published.
What is it that is keeping you in the game?
Want more help digging into your story as you plan, draft, or revise? I work with writers to dig into their deep story whys as well as offer feedback and guidance to keep your projects on track.
Receiving feedback is often just as hard as a rejection.
We send off our work to a friend, critique partner, beta reader, editor, and while we do these things for the constructive feedback these readers can impart, there is a large part of ourselves hoping for a gold star.
“I found nothing wrong, it’s perfect! A best seller in waiting! Send it out now!”
But that won’t happen. Sorry.
When you send your work to someone for feedback, that’s what they are going to give you. It’s part of the deal. They want to help or you have paid them to help. They are going to read with a critical eye for improvement.
Now, sure, some may read with a critical eye just to criticize (we’ve all been in those critique groups) and those readers aren’t necessarily helpful. But those who read in good faith, who offer feedback to challenge your skills, or point out places that would benefit from a second/third/whatever look, they want to help you. They want to see your story succeed.
How you respond to that feedback is up to you.
As someone who has received feedback and someone who gives feedback as a coach, I have some advice.
Be curious. Not judgmental.
Ted Lasso provides a lovely reminder:
My experience with feedback (both when I give it as a coach and receive it as a writer) is that the first 24-48 hours are rough.
Feedback can feel soul crushing. Or rage inducing. Or simply overwhelming.
Writers can cycle through a variety of reactions like defensiveness, what-do-they-know-ess, to full on doubt that they can even do this writing thing at all.
(You can. I’m just saying, that’s what the evil doubt monster likes to whisper in your ear during those initial hours).
This is why I typically recommend you read your feedback and then step away.
Do not respond. Do no edit. Do nothing but process whatever emotion that feedback brought up in you.
After a few days, and when the emotions have settled, read through the feedback again.
I bet it feels different. Mine always does.
Now…Get curious.
Think about your initial response and see which comments elicited strong reactions from you.
Is there a pattern?
Was it about something you thought you did well?
Was it something you had hoped the reader wouldn’t notice but you knew wasn’t “right” yet?
Was it in relation to a craft issue you don’t understand well?
Sometimes, the feedback that bothers us the most is the feedback that scares us. Whether it’s because you aren’t sure how to fix the problem, you’re insecure about your abilities in general, you were overtired and hangry when you initially read the feedback, or it triggered something else entirely.
Understanding why you reacted to feedback the way you did can help you uncover the parts of your story that need deeper work.
Early in my writing journey, I received feedback that the stakes weren’t clear. I was so irritated. I’d worked on my stakes. I thought I’d included all the necessary components for the story.
At first, this feedback about stakes seemed wrong. After all, I’d spent so much time on it.
But after taking some time away and returning to the manuscript with this feedback in mind, I was able to admit that stakes were a weak point for me as a writer at that point. And once I analyzed the feedback with a clear head, I could see that the problem wasn’t that the character’s stakes weren’t present in the story, it was more that the ultimate story problem was vague making the stakes less resonant. I would need to do some deeper work to fix that. Not just add in a ticking clock or the threat of losing a job.
It was uncomfortable for me to realize I needed to study this aspect of craft more. And so my reaction was strong. Luckily, I was able to learn from that feedback experience and now, whenever I start a new story, this is the area I spend the most time on because I know it can be a blindspot for me. What I think is clear in my head isn’t always clear on the page.
After you process your feedback and understand why you are reacting to certain parts of the feedback more strongly than others, you can look at this feedback with a more curious gaze:
Is this feedback given with good intent?
What can I learn from this feedback?
Is there something that isn’t on the page? (So often, we know our stories too well and what we think is clear might not be clear to the reader at all)
Are there areas of craft I need to study?
Do I need to ask clarifying questions? It’s always okay to ask questions of your feedback giver to be sure you understand. Miscommunications happen, which can also lead to strong emotions.
Is there something I was afraid wasn’t right that they are pointing out as a weakness?
Is this about the work or about me? (NOTE: Feedback should always be about the work. It’s hard to separate the writing from the writer, but feedback is most definitely not meant (when given properly) as an affront to the writer).
What feedback do I strongly disagree with? Can I justify my choices? Not all feedback needs to be taken. You are the creator of your stories. You get the final word.
Use a growth mindset when approaching your feedback to see where you can grow. And remember: sometimes growth is knowing which feedback to accept and apply and what to simply ignore.
This isn’t easy. Feedback feels personal and criticism can be hard to ingest. But if you’re seeking feedback, you’re seeking to better your story. Trust the process.
Remember to give your feedback time to settle. Be curious. Then get back to revising!
Want kind, compassionate, honest feedback on your writing? I have Manuscript Evaluation spots and a limited number of Revision Coaching 1:1 openings this fall. Start Revision Coaching before the end of September and you will have a completed revision plan before Thanksgiving!
