Finding New Story Ideas

Are you the kind of writer brimming with new ideas? Do you have journals full of starts or slips of ideas in your phone’s notes app? Do you have a stack of post-its with interesting what ifs? When it’s time to start writing is it just a matter of picking one of these ideas and running with it?

Lucky you.

I am not that writer.

I am usually floundering about, writing down wrong paths, or staring into space waiting for the right alchemy of inspiration and motivation to divine the next idea onto my page.

Okay. Maybe it’s not quite like that. It’s more like I have a mash up of ideas that finally coalesce into a story idea and then I spend several years in a monogamous relationship with it. But the plucking or the coalescing are never anything I can force or hurry and that can be frustrating.

Right now, I’m ready to start writing again and realize my idea generator is out of practice. Last week, on my writing retreat, I tried to plan some activities that would hopefully kick start my idea generator.

What’s that quote about the best laid plans…?

By Wednesday night, I was feeling the ticking clock on our time together and no real idea sparking. I may or may not have started to panic.

At dinner, I asked my fellow writer friends how they came up with their story ideas. Everyone has a different process. It’s frustrating to know there isn’t a magic path to the next great story idea, but also comforting to know there is no wrong way to find your next idea either.

When I outlined where I was in the process and what things were niggling in my brain that weren’t quite story ideas but rather a topic that kept popping up in my life during the last year, one of my writer friends encouraged me to mind map. She said, write down the thing in a circle then write 4-5 things that makes me think of. Then write 4-5 things for each of those things, etc…, until your web of circles fills the page.

This is my stack of blank paper ready for my circles on Thursday morning!

I gave it a shot. I ended up with lots and lots of circles and did three different maps based on ideas that popped out of the first one. By dinner on our last night, I had much more of an idea pulling at me than I did before.

The ironic part? It’s very much related to the original idea of manuscript two that I diverted from back in 2016. It’s not the same story at all, but the core relationship might still be the same.

And that’s what I found intriguing. My table of writer friends last week agreed.

But phew. It wasn’t easy to even get that far and as far as I came, it’s still not a story idea. More of a situation. A situation with characters I don’t know yet and motivations I haven’t divined.

Those things will come with more time and more work.

So what’s my advice for other writers who don’t have a notebook full of story ideas?

Start one.

Okay, don’t panic. These aren’t really ideas yet.

Start a notebook where you jot down things that are interesting to you. My third manuscript (the one I’m querying now) was born out of a job posting I saw somewhere that intrigued me. I wondered who would do that kind of job and what kind of complications could come of it. Collect the things that intrigue you:

  • Snippets of dialogue
  • Noticing something out of place (I once saw a horse in the parking lot of my grocery store. Not near a trailer or there for some kind of event. Just a horse tied up outside the store like it was the general store on a dust covered street circa Tombstone. This might not be out of place in Montana or Texas, but in downtown Atlanta? Um, I had questions)
  • Someone’s body language
  • A newspaper/magazine headline or article
  • A memory
  • A what if twist to a headline/article/memory/movie
  • A phrase describing a beautiful setting
  • An outfit you see
  • Shop names that are funny or interesting or aren’t clear what goes on inside that place of business
  • Job listings/classifieds

Basically, just mark down those interesting moments your writer eye catches during the day. If you’re at the art museum with the kids, write a sentence about a painting that spoke to you. If you’re on a hike, doodle a picture of your favorite vista from the trip. Collect little written souvenirs of your day and come back to them when you need to spur your mind in a new direction. Once you have a few pages, some ideas may reveal patterns or you might want to play with adding that snippet of dialogue to an unusual person you saw in a setting you find strange to see what emerges.

Be observant. Watch for the signs. I had this particular topic pop up in my world over and over and over in different ways–books, music, art. Does this thing have anything to do with the idea I came away from my retreat with? Not technically. But there are some similarities. Similarities I might not have seen if I hadn’t allowed my mind to wander through all those circles.

You never know where your next idea will come from. And chances are, it won’t come fully formed in a dream (if it does, good for you, feel free to share a bit of your muse fairy dust with the rest of us!). Our job as writers is to be open–open hearted, open minded, and with open eyes.

How do you find your next story idea? Share in the comments.

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Is your idea novel-ready?

Coming up with an idea is the first step to your next story. In my Start Your Novel with Confidence package, we will dig deep into your story’s key questions before you start writing forward. This introductory coaching package includes a set of exercises to help you flesh out your idea, feedback from a coach (that’s me!), and a one-on-one coaching call for just $95.

Find out more here and schedule a free discovery call to chat about whether this package is right for you.

Who is Your Ideal Reader?

During my time working in public relations, one thing was paramount: the target audience.

Whether it was a health message, a consumer message, or a public affairs message, I needed to know exactly who the target of the campaign was to help craft the message and determine the best means of delivery.

The options were endless. For a health message on the availability of a new vaccine, it might be women over the age of 50 with pre-existing conditions. For a consumer message on propane safety it might be grill users. For an environmental public affairs message, it might be legislators on certain committees who can enact change or business leaders who can make adjustments to how they manager their supply chain.

Regardless of the options, campaigns are typically designed to reach specific people in order to inspire a behavioral change, a purchasing decision, or to take action. Targeting all consumers with a propane safety message might fall flat, but using a chef famous for his grilling recipes to present information about new recipes and grill safety tips for summer will reach grilling enthusiasts, many of whom use propane grills.

Writing is similar. Writing to the masses is too generic. It’s important to understand who your story’s ideal reader is.

I write women’s fiction, but my ideal reader is not just any woman over the age of 30.

It’s important to be specific about your ideal reader. Ask yourself:

  • What keeps your ideal reader up at night? What are they worried about?
  • What struggles does your ideal reader have?
  • Why does your ideal reader love reading?
  • What kinds of books do they normally seek out? Why?
  • What about your book will address what your reader struggles with?
  • What do you want your ideal reader to say or feel when finishing your book?

Looking through that lens, my ideal reader for my current project is women in midlife caught between caring for kids and aging parents who is analyzing her space in the world and how she contributes to it. She reads to escape her day-to-day life. She wants a satisfying story that allows her to walk in another’s woman’s shoes. She wants to come away from the story feeling entertained and perhaps with a bit more insight into her own journey.

Now, I am a big believer in writing for yourself without the gaze of an audience. No one needs a critic–internal or external–when drafting.

HOWEVER…

I eventually want my book to find its way into a reader’s hands. When I’m revising, imagining this ideal reader allows me to craft a book that will make it to the top of this ideal reader’s TBR (to be read) pile.

Just like a PR or ad campaign, it’s important to know your audience. Before you revise, make sure you understand who you are speaking to. Then edit to ensure your book is saying what you want it to to that person.

Use the questions I listed above. You can create an avatar, if you wish, name your ideal reader. Or simply know who she is. Chances are, she’s a lot like you in many ways. Or a version of you, anyway.

And also like a PR or ad campaign, your book has a message and a meaning, something you want your ideal reader to walk away thinking about differently or to take action on. Get specific early in the process identifying your message and your audience, and it will tie your writing together with purpose.

Who is your ideal reader?

Want more help identifying your ideal reader?

Identifying your ideal reader is one of the many key questions I walk writers through in my new Start Your Novel with Confidence package. Dig deep into your story’s key questions with this introductory coaching package that includes coach feedback and a one-on-one coaching call for just $95.

Find out more here and schedule a free discovery call to chat about whether this package is right for you.

Featured title photo by Nguyen Thu Hoai on Unsplash

When the Work of Writing Isn’t Writing

I am heading to the beach for a writing retreat with some dear writing friends next week. I am excited and desperately looking forward to it. Beach. Words. Writers. What’s not to love?

I’m querying my most recent project and have had enough distance from it to know that it’s time for something new. This retreat seemed to come at the perfect time to recharge my writing life. Something I’ve let languish as I have researched agents, polished query letters, and focused on my client work.

On Monday, I realized I have absolutely no idea what I’m writing next.

Nothing.

Nada.

Okay. Maybe not nothing. There’s been this “thing” that keeps popping up in my life for the last year. A theme, maybe. A topic. I don’t know. It’s all related to one piece of source material. But it’s not a real idea yet. Not something with characters and setting and a story goal.

Just this “thing.”

But…

I committed to a week to work on my writing. But I am in no place to be writing.

Uh oh.

So I did what any writer would do in this situation: I panicked.

Then, I tried to force myself to think. I went for a walk. I plead with the muse to just tell me what this thing means already. I literally emptied my mind and waited for that spark of inspiration to arrive.

Breaking news: it didn’t.

(If your muse works that way, I’m totally jealous, by the way)

What did come to me was the realization that I now have an opportunity to spend a whole week exploring this idea. To read and research. Free write. Journal. Ideate. Whatever. My work next week might look a whole lot like staring out at the ocean, but I think that’s the exact work I need to do right now.

In the mess of busy schedules and commitments and deadlines at home, I have very little time to dedicate to brainstorming. If I have a writing goal, I can execute in the midst of the chaos, but all this nebulous noodling I need to do needs more quiet time, more opportunity to follow tangents, less middle of the day appointments or last minute carpools.

This week, my work looks like preparing for next week’s success. I am gathering up raw materials related to all the things this year I encountered related to this “thing.” I am making playlists and organizing some journal prompts. I’m researching all kinds of things to take with me to ponder on.

The reason I am sharing all this is because one, I think we need to remember that writing has different stages and our needs around those various stages are going to change. Being prepared for these changes is important in a creative life. And two, because writing every day might not look like physically writing every day.

I hear from lots of writers who fear they aren’t doing it right if they aren’t writing every day. If that works for you, do it. If it doesn’t because you have a demanding day job or young kids or an ailing parent or your own illness, chronic or otherwise, writing might be simply thinking on a story problem or listening to a song that evokes an emotion you’d like to get on the page or diving into a writing craft podcast to solve a structure issue you’ve encountered. Or it may mean research or doodling or story mapping or answering 1,000 questions about your protagonist to get to know her better.

Or it may mean staring into the depths of the ocean pondering your next idea.

Whatever it is, it’s part of the work of writing.

So while I may not have fingers to the keyboard every moment next week, I will be doing important writing work.

And it’s imperative that I recognize that and stop judging my work as a word count tracker at the bottom of my page.

Writing is a lot of things. All of it work. Not all of it typing.

Whatever work looks like for you this week, I wish you success.

Featured photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash

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The Importance of Finding Your Story’s Heart

What is at the heart of your story?

What do you want a reader to take away from your book?

What is your story’s point?

Sometimes, when I’m deep in the weeds of writing or stymied by a revision problem, the point of my story may seem pointless. The heart of my story seems to have flatlined.

But finding your story’s point may be the jolt your story needs.

If you’re stuck in the middle of a draft or revision and feel like things are off the rails, this is the first place to return to. Your point will guide your protagonist, how you layer emotion on the page, the obstacles you put in her way. Your point will literally point the way.

Sound too simple?

Just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Let’s take a look at some of our favorite advertising slogans.

This ubiquitous slogan has been everywhere since 1988.

Seriously. 1988. That’s some staying power.

Why does it work? It gets to the heart of what Nike stands for. Nike partners with the world’s elite athletes to inspire the every-person that with the right equipment and attitude, they, too, can just do it. It’s about the doing. And Nike is here with the products to support you in the doing of whatever it is you do.

Nike has used athletes from Michael Jordan to Serena Williams in sports from football to skateboarding. The slogan is universal, easy to understand, and memorable. Building a variety of campaigns around this tagline is easy because it’s so clear. The story and messaging keep the campaigns grounded and, as a result, consumers are motivated to not only do, but to buy.

Who remembers this one? Apple has always marketed itself as the outsider, the product for the renegade thinkers, the early adopters, the techno-savvy. This campaign made use of innovators from a variety of subjects, people like Jim Henson, Jimi Hendrix, Amelia Earhart, Jackie Robinson, Martha Graham, John Lennon, and so many others. Apple appealed directly to their audience with this slogan: be an individual, use your unique talents, and make a mark on the world. Again, the campaign told so many disparate stories from names who may have little in common beyond how they think: different. The heart of their story is clear in just two words.

You don’t even need it on the gif, do you? You know that tagline already.

Because you’re worth it.

Marketing to women to buy make-up products could hone in on a variety of singular messages around beauty, but L’Oreal’s heart is about a woman’s worth. It’s a subtle distinction that while they are selling a product that is literally skin deep, their message speaks to a deeper level. It’s an empowering message.

(Fun fact: did you know that it was created in 1971 by a 23 year old female copywriter? That’s a story I want to know more about!).

Time to think about your story heart. What is your story’s slogan?

Perhaps it sounds a little cliché:

  • Love conquers all
  • Good triumphs over evil
  • All that glitters is not gold
  • The grass isn’t always greener on the other side

Great! If it starts to sound cliché, you are probably on the right track.

NOTE: This does not mean that your writing is cliché. It merely means that you’ve found a touchpoint that resonates.

Just look at love conquering evil. I’m sure you could name a number of books from a variety of genres that fit that bill. Everything from the romantic love in the romance section of the bookstore to the parental and friend love of Harry Potter.

How do you determine your point?

Go back to the start of this post. Ask yourself what you want readers to take away from the book? Think about what you are trying to say. What is the message close to your heart that you are exploring through words? Chances are, that answer is close to the heart of your story.

Dig deep on this exercise.

Free write about all the things you are trying to say, all the things that your protagonist is struggling with and has to learn, all the things you want a reader to experience when they read your book. Then sift through all that raw data until you can land on your point.

Use that information, your story slogan, so to speak, to polish up your story’s point. Put it on a post it. Hang it above your desk and refer to it every time you feel lost or frustrated or confused about what comes next.

When you’re writing a novel, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture when you’re mired down in all of the details. The story point is the key to that big picture. Take a moment with the larger view every now and again to make sure that the details fit into the vista you’re creating.

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Read more about it here and schedule a discovery call to see if this package is right for you.

Write What You Know

This week is a tough one in my world. My father passed away unexpectedly on October 2, 2018. Exactly one week before his 70th birthday on October 9th. Each year, we get to relive that awful, horrible week. Even if we make it through the first anniversary day relatively unscathed (which I have yet to figure out how to do), the second comes so close on its heels that it doesn’t matter.

I wrote about grief a little bit on Instagram on Monday as I muddled my way through horrible day number one.

I hesitated before I posted. Why was I posting this deeply personal thing in such a public forum?

Because it’s real.

Real to me.

Real to who I am.

Real to how I was showing up in the world on Monday. And honestly throughout this week.

And, based on the comments and DMs I received, very real to so many others.

In writing circles, the advice is often to write what you know. I think that is often misconstrued to mean write only of the physical experiences you know–the job you know, the family you know, the community you know.

But writing fiction is about telling the truth.

Right? I know.

But if you focus on the truth of what you know, that deep down universal thing, it transcends the scene, the circumstances, the exterior coating of your story.

Take my post for instance. Grief is specific. Every person, every relationship, every loss is so different. And yet, in writing about my specific loss, others recognized their own. While the relationships or anniversaries or time since the loss all differed, my underlying truth of having a love with no place to land resonated with others. Maybe not everyone, but many.

There are many things you know to be true. Things as big as grief or as small as the frustration of getting out the door with a toddler who won’t put their shoes on when it’s raining outside.

Let’s look at the second one. You may be a harried parent whose partner is out of town leaving you to get the kid to daycare on time while answering 3,000 questions about cereal and birds and spoons and how to build a kitchen table and how do clouds make rain and the necessity of those pesky shoes they won’t put on all on your own. That internal turmoil may cause you to snap at your child or slam the door a little too hard behind you or stop by the Starbucks drive-thru between drop-off and work or fire off a snarky text to your partner. There are any number of reactions you may have, but the stimulus remains specific, identifiable, and resonant.

Now, imagine a parent in a psychological thriller. The kid asks all the same questions, refuses to put on the shoes, sends the parent’s emotional boiling point past frustration and into full on eruption. What would they do? Perhaps they make a plan to run away after dropping the kid off? Or murder the partner that got them into this parenting mess in the first place? Or…the possibilities are endless and no matter how “unrelatable” they appear, the reader who also remembers those days of endless questions and tardiness because of toddler temper tantrums will identify in some way with the truth you’ve provided about how hard it is to raise a kid.

Write what you know.

Doesn’t mean you know about murdering spouses. It means you know what could, under the right circumstances, drive someone to do it. (Like the night my youngest learned how to crawl out of the crib for the first time and proceeded to do it every two minutes between 7:30pm and midnight on day 2 of my husband’s 7-day business trip. I opted for the snarky texts, but… )

Focus on the truth of your scene, not the facts of it. Focus on what you know to be true. Focus on what you have to say or share or want so desperately to be understood about yourself.

The more specific YOU are, the more your writing will resonate with a reader.

This kind of vulnerability and level of authenticity can be scary. I hit post on Monday and was fearful of checking Instagram later that day. What if I put all my soft, sensitive bits out into the world and they were scoffed at or criticized? Instead I was rewarded with shared experiences, a community of others who opened up their truths to me, and felt comfort in my loss by sharing my father with others.

Write what YOU know.

Share it with the world.

Be brave.

Your readers will recognize your truth, trust you for sharing it, and come back to your work for more.

Featured image by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

The Importance of Your Novel’s Opening Pages on Your Novel’s Ending

While journalism and novel writing are two different animals, both need to hook the reader and impart important information from the get-go.

Journalism (news articles, magazines, broadcast news scripts) stories are told in inverted pyramid style with the who, what, when, where, and why in what’s called the lede–the first sentence or graph. The story is then elaborated on and expanded, but essentially everything you need to know is in that first sentence/graph.

Novels have lots more space for a story to develop. You don’t want to give the story away in your opening graph.

Except you do.

Sort of.

Your opening page, similar to a news article, needs to introduce the reader to the protagonist (WHO), a conflict (WHAT), timeline (WHEN), setting (WHERE), and motivation (WHY).

While you may not be giving away your complete story conflict or plot yet, there should be a hint of the story and ending to come in your opening.

In most classical music (I’m about to botch the music theory I learned in college, so my apologies to all my music educators friends), a piece ends with the same root note as the piece began. It’s called the resolution or cadence. As the piece progresses, it incorporates related chords that lead to the inevitable conclusion of the piece with that recognizable resolution note/chord that started the piece. Your ear is expecting it. If it ended differently, you’d notice. Something would just sound off.

The same in a novel. If your ending is completely unrelated to your start or something happens in the end that isn’t inevitable based on the cause and effect trajectory you’ve established from the beginning, something would feel off to your reader. This might look like feedback that the ending doesn’t feel earned or wasn’t satisfying or isn’t believable.

Your opening pages set that stage for the satisfying ending.

How? How does your opening, your introduction to your story world and characters possibly reflect the ending you’re hoping to achieve in 80,000+ words?

Your opening does this in a few ways by establishing:

  • the voice of your story
  • your character’s motivations (at least their initial motivations, these may change throughout the story) that drive their story decision making
  • a hint of the conflict to come through an opening conflict/tension
  • a milestone to measure your ending against (how will your character change by the end? It must be clear who she is in beginning)
  • as well as a host of story-telling logistics in terms of timeline, pacing, writing style, etc…

Openings are best perfected, in my opinion, after your endings are written. When you’re drafting, just get it down to the best of your knowledge. No matter how much planning you do, there will be things you learn about your character along the way and new ideas that create new surprises in your manuscript. Once you’ve established what you have on the page, you can use that information to layer your openings with deeper meaning, hint at conflict, hide secret emotional need, then make sure your ending delivers on those promises so readers are left feeling satisfied.

Let’s think back to that inverted pyramid used by journalists. Those stories tend to taper off at the end. A novel can’t.

Consider a novel more of an hour glass figure than pyramid. You start a bit information heavy describing your characters, revealing their wants and needs, establishing setting and voice, introducing conflict and an inciting incident early on.

As you move through the middle, there is less new information to introduce. That doesn’t mean obstacles aren’t popping up or new characters aren’t entering the story, but you aren’t, as the writer, having to do the heavy lifting of making something out of nothing. Your characters are churning along their trajectories of change based on their motivations, actions, and consequences you’ve already set-up in the beginning.

At the ends of your stories, the shape widens again as there is a lot of processing and growth happening for your protagonist. The reader is reminded of how far the character has come as the protagonist reaches the inevitable climax of their story and final. The reader is then gently released into the resolution of the story, those final chords washing over them echoing the beginning you so beautifully introduced.

Bottom line: focus on your beginnings but not in a vacuum. Try to avoid the trap of polishing that first chapter to a high definition shine without also giving your middles and ends the same attention. Use them as a tool to set your entire story up for success.

Featured Image by Fathromi Ramdlon from Pixabay

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For more tips on what agents are looking for in your opens and how to analyze your own opening pages, get my download Opening Pages: How to Grab and Keep Your Reader from the Start.

Why We Need to Step Out of Our Comfort Zones to Grow as Writers

This fall, I am stepping out of my comfort zone. A lot.

I am going to a large writing conference in two weeks and while the conference part isn’t inherently out of character, the stress of extroverting for that many days in a row is intimidating. I know I can, I know I will love it, I know I will make tons of new connections with writers and learn more than my little brain can carry, but, yeah. It’s still gonna be physically and emotionally stressful.

When I return, I’m giving a presentation at my local library. And while it’s a presentation I have given before and am confident in, this one’s in person. In a place where people I know in real life might show up. I was already feeling a little nervous about it when a friend sent me this picture after her visit to the library last night:

Yikes! It’s getting real now!

I’ll also be presenting at a local women’s empowerment conference with a presentation I haven’t given before but am super excited about: the power of honoring the creative in ourselves to succeed in all areas of our lives.

I’ve just launched a video series on my LinkedIn page for PR professionals who also want to pursue creative writing. As a producer who spent her early career behind the camera wincing and sweating every time a camera person put me in front of it to simply check lighting and sound levels before the talent arrived, this is a difficult process for me. And yet, it’s been super fun to dust off the old production skills with today’s handy tech tools not requiring me to reserve an edit bay (goodness, I’m as old as Methuselah).

Oh, and I’m heading out on a writing retreat with a brand new story idea that isn’t even a full seed of an idea yet, more like a hazy aura of shapes that might be an actual idea at some point.

While I am terrified of many of these things, I am also excited. These events are all aligned with my creative values and are huge opportunities for personal growth.

A writer recently sent her manuscript to me for an evaluation and expressed that she’d be awaiting my feedback nervously. I assured her it was normal to feel that way but to try and relax. I reminded her that the discomfort we feel in these situations is because we’re growing, challenging the things we already now, bumping up against our own boundaries and learning how to scale them. It doesn’t feel good in the short term, but has infinite long term gains.

And then I read those words to myself. Over and over and over.

I find the pep talks I give my writers are often the pep talks I most often need to hear.

As writers, we need to lean into the discomfort sometimes. Figure out what scares us in our process or our craft. We are constantly learning and evolving and sometimes that process is messy or emotionally painful. Just like exercise, it’s gotta be challenging or we aren’t getting stronger.

How can you challenge yourself this fall in your writing? Can you….

  • Try writing in a new POV?
  • Tackle that topic that seems too scary? You know, the one you think you aren’t ready to write yet.
  • Dabble in a different genre or format like flash fiction or a screen play?
  • Join a writer’s group or create one?
  • Start writing book reviews for books you love?
  • Ask for feedback in your writing?
  • Seek out help in your writing by finding a class or reaching out to a writer friend to brainstorm when you’re stuck?

There are a number of things we can do to challenge ourselves to keep that writing muscle growing so when it’s time for big challenges, like developmental edits or querying or submission, we are ready to level up.

I’m proud of myself for saying yes to so many things this fall that intimidate me. I’m invigorated by all the things I’m already learning. I’m nervous, but I’m not afraid.

I’m reminded of the word “scited” that Glennon Doyle made up for her kids. It’s a mixture of scared and excited. That butterflies feeling we get when we’re doing something out of our comfort zones but that we really want. All these things I’m doing this fall make me “scited.”

This fall, let’s be “scited” together. Let’s step out of our writer and writing comfort zones and open ourselves up to some beautiful and vulnerable experiences.

Let me know in the comments what you’re doing this fall that’s outside your comfort zone so I can support you and cheer on your growth.

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Featured image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

When the World Got in the Way of My Writing

It’s been a week.

My 17 year old son went back to school this week. Junior year. It’s a biggie.

Did I mention he went back to school as a driver? (I’m fine. Totally fine. Hold on, let me just check my tracking app one more time to see if he’s left the school yet…)

My 13 year old son is on week two of his first three-week break. One more year of the year-round school schedule for him. Loved it when the boys were on the same schedule, hate it now that they only have two weeks of breaks in the entire calendar year that overlap. It’s our last year of it, though. (9 months and 19 days to be exact, not that I’m counting…)

My age means my migraines have started acting differently and I struggled through a nasty one that lasted 36 long hours, ignoring all my usual tips and remedies.

And my alma mater, not that far up the road, was the latest in a long string of educational institutions affected by gun violence on Monday.

My to-do list has remained relatively undone, only the top priority items getting my limited attention and even some priority items were relegated to “when I can” status when things like checking on friends who just dropped their freshmen off at UNC last week took the top spot.

I tried fighting it at first, all of it–fighting through the pain, fighting the distractions. My judgmental brain instantly listing all the things I should be doing besides laying in a dark room again or checking for updates during Monday’s lockdown at UNC.

But at some point, I remembered myself and that sometimes I need to ignore the shoulds for my needs.

Rest was more important. Screen breaks were necessary. So things like writing blog posts about sensory images in our writing or my typical Monday Motivation quote on Instagram will have to wait until next week when I’m physically and mentally restored.

So what do we do when we’re sidetracked by illness or kids or the wider world that seems hellbent on destroying itself lately?

Take care of you.

Rest.

Drink water.

Read. When I can, I’ve had my nose in a book this week. I don’t know if I’m retaining anything I’m reading, but it doesn’t matter. The words have order and the chapters have structure and the content is compelling enough to quiet my mind and body.

Move, if you can. Long walks usually help me, although this week they took a back seat to the headache. Hoping to do a gentle yoga practice today to release some of that pent up tension.

Connect with someone. Call a friend. Schedule a coffee. Text someone a book recommendation. Write a letter to someone and say hi to your neighbors as you walk it to the mail box. I had a lovely professional development call with some book coaching colleagues today and it soothed my soul to laugh and share with some new and old faces.

Don’t look away. Take breaks (you don’t possibly need to read every article about every thing), but don’t ignore the world around you. Look for the opportunities to help that are safe for you and your mental load.

That’s me this week. Not looking away, but prioritizing rest. Which means I don’t have the bandwidth for a post that isn’t just a brain dump (forgive me). I need to save that energy for other things. For hugging my kids. For a volunteer job at my kid’s school later this week. For a meeting with a mentor. For processing what happened Monday. For finding ways to make change.

My point is the world is going to be hard sometimes, the big wide world and our smaller, more immediate ones. A writer who doesn’t take care of themselves isn’t going to write. There is no shame in taking care of ourselves. Writing to process your world’s hard might be your best self-care. Or putting aside your writing might be the best way to care of yourself. Don’t judge yourself either way. Just do what is best for you in each moment.

When the world gets too heavy, don’t pretend it isn’t hard to carry but don’t let it press you into the ground either. We are here for each other. Reach out. Write. Don’t write. Whatever helps you.

And remember, a nap never hurt anyone.

Featured photo by Kinga Howard on Unsplash

A Writer’s Perseverance

My son turned 17 earlier this month and this week, he finally got his driver’s license. It has been a story of perseverance and patience.

COVID meant a cancellation in driver’s ed classes that pivoted to virtual with a backlog of folks on the wait list to get into a class. When he was finally called up, the one virtual time option offered conflicted with an extracurricular activity that was more important to him. So we had to wait another round. When he finally finished the classroom portion, it was an interminable wait to get the in-car instruction because the normal 3:1 student to instructor ratio had been whittled down to 1:1. Even once that was accomplished, the wait for appointments at our local DMV to get his permit proved a challenge. Once his permit was secured, he then had to log his 60 supervised driving hours. Once he ticked off his nine months and 60 hours of permitted driving, we re-entered the DMV circle of hell where appointments are booking three months out at the earliest and walk-in waits are ridiculous (we spent 3 hours outside the DMV last Friday and never made it inside the lobby to check in before we were sent home by overworked but polite workers who said there was no way we’d make it to the front of the line before close).

BUT, thanks to persistence (spending several hours throughout the weekend trolling the DMV site for cancelled appointments anywhere within a two-hour radius of us), my husband scored an appointment an hour away and, after a test that took ten minutes, he is now a licensed driver.

Yes, it’s a full year after he was age-eligible. Yes, it has been an annoyance and an impediment to this teenage rite of passage. But he was pragmatic and patient and just kept doing what he needed to do and eventually was rewarded.

It reminds me of our work as writers. Each part of the process–ideating, drafting, editing, revising, polishing, querying, submission, revising again, marketing, publishing–is its own tedious process. Just like driver’s ed class, in-car driving, taking the permit test, logging the appropriate in-car hours, finding the appointment, taking the driving test, filling out the paper work, etc… was a part of my son’s licensing process.

“Do you have your license yet?” feels eerily similar to “When will we see your book on the shelf?” A well-meaning question by a loved one who also doesn’t really understand or care about the process that gets someone to either end result. It’s the paper we’re after whether we’re a teen wanting that tiny rectangle of freedom or a writer who wants to hold a physical representation of the story that’s lived in their heads for years.

So how do we keep persevering as writers?

We ideate. We write. We edit. We revise. We polish. We query. We submit. We revise again. We market. We promote.

We do the work. We break it down into chunks. We celebrate each accomplishment along the way because no one else will. No one is waiting with a balloon and confetti when you’ve finished your filter word search edit phase (although they should because that accomplishment, my friend, deserves a ticker tape parade) or sent out you’re 37th query letter.

We remind ourselves that creating is part of our DNA. That the story we are telling is important or we wouldn’t have started telling it. We take a step back and breathe and remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. And in some extreme cases, we reflect on whether we write for the goal of publishing or write for our own creative fulfillment. There may be some of us who are content to give up the publishing ghost and others who would write whether anyone else reads their words or not. Both are fine as is anything in between. When you find yourself frustrated, however, it’s important to know where you are on that spectrum to know how to handle what happens next.

I’ve been there. Shoot, I am there. The goals I had set for myself were to be published before now. But that’s not in my control, just like my kid getting his license when he turned 16 ended up not being in his. Instead, we both controlled what we could. He ended up reaching his goal first, but he’ll be perfecting and becoming more comfortable as a driver for years. Just like I will be growing and perfecting my writing craft for years.

Why am I even talking about all this?

I don’t want you to give up.

This past week I reviewed the stories from my Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Pros and these are books that need to be written. Stories that need to be told. I could hear the doubt in their voices, their worry that their stories weren’t enough or were boring or were confusing or any number of things the writers may have told themselves. I was thrilled to be able to tell them they have something, to encourage them to keep going.

Does that mean the journey will be easy for them moving forward? Hell no. I wish it were. But I hope they will hear my positive words in their ear when it gets hard. That at least one person out here is waiting to read their stories. That may be enough to keep them moving.

And so if you need to hear that this week, too, let me be the one to tell you–keep going. Someone out there needs to read your story. Someone is waiting for your story. Even if that someone is simply you proving to yourself you can write it.

So keep ideating, writing, editing, revising, polishing, querying, submitting, revising again, marketing, and promoting.

Keep running the short races that cover the mileage of your writing journey.

And at some point, take a pause and look back at how far you’ve come.

***

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What is Really Keeping You From Writing?

We all have a myriad of reasons why we aren’t getting the writing done. Some require a large dose of grace to put the work down until a better time arrives (illness, death, moving, etc…). But other roadblocks are barriers we put up ourselves.

Ah writing, where the writer is both the protagonist and antagonist.

The most common barriers I hear from writers for getting the work done are TIME, KNOWLEDGE, and MINDSET.

“But, I don’t have enough time!”

I don’t mean to downplay the struggle to find the time to write because I know many of us are strapped for time between jobs and kids and commutes and caregiving responsibilities.

BUT…is there honestly no time for your writing? Before you immediately answer, you need to get really honest with yourself about three things:

1 – How are you actually spending your time?

To gauge how you are truly spending your time, I invite you to use a time tracker for a week. You can use an online tool (I use Toggl, but there are lots of options) or you can simply write down everything you do on a piece of paper or in a spreadsheet. It’s important to note the start and end time of each activity as well as still include all the things you may suddenly be embarrassed about doing (do I really check Instagram that many times a day or get lost down a YouTube rabbit hole of actors eating hot wings after watching the presentation I originally went on for?).

When you have compiled a week’s worth of data, highlight the things that you absolutely can not change (I’m thinking time at work, commute time, classes/volunteer commitments, exercise time, family time, eating, sleeping, etc). Now, look at all the non-highlighted times. Anything surprise you?

When you have a clear picture of how you’re actually spending your time, you can make adjustments to make time for writing. Perhaps you don’t need to scroll through social media at lunch, or there is time in the evening when you usually are watching TV. You don’t necessarily need to book every free moment of your time with writing–in fact, please don’t. I am a firm believer in the need to rest, relax, and literally do nothing (hello, I own a porch swing). We all need time to recharge, but are there blocks or pockets of time that you are spending on activities that aren’t filling you up creatively?

2 – How much time do you need to write?

Many of us have a romantic idea in our heads of what the writing life looks like and compare our own productivity to this ideal.

Maybe we think “writing” is leisurely mornings with a bottomless cup of coffee and 2,000 words added to our manuscripts or it is going full-on Thoreau in a secluded cabin where we write an entire draft because of all that magical quiet time (forgetting that he had friends over and a mother who brought him food and did his laundry). These versions of writing aren’t realistic for most of us.

I think writing is a little bit like exercise: doing a little bit each day is better than not doing anything at all. So find the writing equivalent of taking the stairs instead of the elevator. That might mean setting a timer for 15 minutes after dinner while your spouse does the dishes. Or being intentional about when you pick up your phone–instead of getting that dopamine hit checking TikTok on your commute, jot down five story ideas based on people/things you see on the train. Adjust your expectation of the time you need for writing and simply start writing in the time you have.

3 – What are the consequences if you don’t write?

Chances are, nothing external. But I bet you feel guilty or ashamed or frustrated when you don’t honor that part of yourself. It’s so easy to let ourselves down instead of others. Chances are the items on your time audit that you highlighted as things that can’t change are all things you are accountable to someone else for (a boss, your family, a pet). Take another look. Am I right?

But aren’t you just as important as all these other people in your life?

Now may be a good time to include an accountability partner in your process. Despite my son knowing he needs to practice his trumpet to improve his skills, he still needs to complete and turn in a practice log each week for band class or else he wouldn’t do it. Do the same–turn in a log of your writing time to a writer friend, keep a calendar on the fridge where your family can see and give yourself a sticker for every day you write, or ask a friend to check in on Sunday nights to see if you’ve hit your weekly writing goals.

One more thing about time…

Before we leave the topic of time behind, I do want to acknowledge that you may have the physical time but a demanding job or personal situation may leave you with limited mental capacity at the end of the day for writing. Give yourself grace here and simply commit to a creative pursuit every day. That could be coloring in an adult coloring book while watching television to unwind at night. It could be putting on a new-to-you musical artist while you’re cooking dinner. It could be listening to a podcast on writing (the #amwriting podcast and The Sh*t No One Tells You About Writing are two of my faves) during your commute or errands. Or maybe it’s just reading a poem or two before bed each night. Fill your creative well when your mental meter is low. Be on the lookout for when your muse starts knocking again and start small: jot down a few lines in a journal at the start or end of your day, create a place to store story ideas or snippets of overheard conversations on your phone, sketch out a character or setting. Take baby steps.

“But I don’t have enough skills yet!”

This assumption that when we don’t know enough we can’t even start reminds me of when one of my sons was learning how to ride a bike without training wheels. Of course he tipped over the first time. His initial response? Essentially: I guess this whole bike riding thing isn’t for me. Luckily, we convinced him to try again (and again and again and then one day, it just clicked and off he went speeding down the sidewalk to meet up with his friends). We told him he just couldn’t ride without training wheels YET, not that he would never ride without training wheels.

Writing, like learning any new skill, also requires a growth mindset. Of course we can’t spit out Hemingway-esque prose when we first sit down to the computer. We have to write badly. A lot. And then fix it. There are best selling authors whose first drafts of their novels are total crap. We just don’t see them. We don’t see the drafts that have been thrown away, scratched through, marked over with red pen. We only have the benefit of seeing the finished, polished work that has passed through endless rounds of read-throughs and edits (don’t believe me? Read any author’s acknowledgements page).

Overcoming this barrier requires acceptance that we aren’t writing geniuses at the start (or ever, we just get better at shining our work up over time) and humility to find help when we need it–from craft books, courses, writing groups, critique partners, editors, etc… While this barrier often feels the worst, it’s the easiest to solve. We can always learn more.

“But I can’t/shouldn’t/am afraid to…”

Whether you call it imposter syndrome or doubt or fear, there is an aspect of your mindset that is keeping you from the page resulting in procrastination or a laundry list of to-do items that suddenly take priority in your schedule.

Writing requires vulnerability on the page and vulnerability in the writer. That is not the easiest thing for most people to do. As writers, we are mining our own emotional lives and insecurities to speak truth through our characters. Our inner critic is going to try to clamp down on that urge real fast: What if our weird starts to show?

As writers, we need our weird to show. We want our weird to show. Unfortunately, that can create a big disconnect between what we want to accomplish on the page and the internal mechanisms that have kept us safe in the social world for years.

Write like no one is watching…because guess what? No one is!

Writing allows you to do whatever you want on the page. You have the utmost freedom. Remind your fear that you don’t have to show your writing to anyone. Give yourself permission to write whatever your heart desires–whether that’s writing in a style you think is off limits to your ability or an open door sex scene or an emotional moment that has its kernel of truth somewhere in your own past. You can decide later whether you’ll actually seek feedback/publication/whatever it is that your brand of fear/doubt is so afraid of.

If writing is your dream, don’t be your own worst enemy. Dig down and be honest about the things that are standing in your way. Don’t be surprised if it’s a little bit of all three to varying degrees. Identifying how and where each of these barriers trip you up will help you alter your route and keep you on your writing path.

I love working with writers to find their individual barriers and the personalized solutions they need to climb over them. Need a little help identifying your barriers? Book a free discovery call or shoot me an email and let’s figure out what’s holding you back!