Is Comparison Stealing Your Writing Joy?

Do you compare your writing successes or failures to other writers?

I do.

(I’m working on it.)

To some extent, I think, this comparison is natural. We’re working alone on our manuscripts and suddenly get our Publisher’s Marketplace daily update or a friend posts about their latest book or that person in your writing group got a full request. Of course we are going to be tempted to measure our work against theirs.

If you are anything like me, however, you may only be comparing up, feeling less than to the writer who just landed the agent or secured the big book deal or launched their third book while you’re still editing your first. It can be hard when the writers in your writing group are “succeeding” or reaching milestones before you do. Their success, however, doesn’t mean you aren’t measuring up. There are so many subjective parts at play in the publishing business that aren’t reflections on your work or worth at all.

The big problem when comparison becomes our thief of joy: We often forget to look behind us in our race toward our goals.

(This writer and coach looks at self in the mirror)…

In my writing and my coaching business. I find myself in moments of frustration comparing my journey to someone more established or doing something more interesting. I forget about all the people who haven’t been brave enough to start a novel or launch a business. I ignore all the ways in which I’ve grown in my craft and my business knowledge through the years. I lose sight of the relationships I’ve gained and the writers I’ve worked with.

I spotted this little box turtle on my walk this week. I easily outpaced him after snapping this photo. Then a runner passed me, followed by a biker who whizzed past us both. We were all four of us–turtle, walker, runner, and biker–on the same path, heading toward the same place, simply moving at our own paces. It didn’t mean a darn thing that someone else got back to the trail head first. In fact, I enjoyed the slow pace I took. It afforded me the opportunity to spot my little friend here, watch the creek rush after the previous night’s storms, and relish in the relative cooler temperatures before another hot afternoon.

It got me thinking about all the beauty I’ve experienced in my writing life, all the successes I do have in my pocket even if they aren’t agent contracts or publishing deals (yet), all the breakthroughs I’ve watched my writers have who are now pushing through with new chapters and renewed creative vigor, all the amazing conversations I’ve had with writers at conferences or book readings or simply over coffee.

Those things are a part of the journey and aren’t things I want to rush past.

In writing and creative pursuits, speed isn’t the goal. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, we have goals for our work, but there is a reason I always talk about the writing journey. Ultimately, there is no “destination” for a writer. Isn’t the goal to be writing? To continue to use and share our creativity?

So how do we keep our eyes on our own road maps?

Work at your craft.

Learn and grow at your pace.

Continuously improve.

Make connections with other writers.

Have the deep and beautiful conversations about books.

And quit comparing your journey to others.

There is room on the trail for all of us.

Featured photo at top by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Do you want a safe place to talk about where you are on your writing journey? I offer free discovery calls to writers where we can chat about your writing goals and challenges as well as discuss whether coaching or other resources might best fit your creative needs.

SCHEDULE A CALL

Defining Your Creative Values

If you receive my newsletter, you already know that I recently celebrated my one year anniversary of launching my book coaching business. I have been helping writers in other capacities for several years, but stepping into the role of book coach with a shingle to reflect that work was a leap of faith last year.

And I L-O-V-E it.

Watching writers discover how to say exactly what they want to say, polish their pages, and have their A-HA moments during our coaching calls is awe-inspiring, humbling, and exciting every single time. Witnessing a writer’s creativity and growth is truly a gift I do not take lightly.

Running any type of business leads to lots of lessons learned. Not only have I Iearned more about back-end web design and taxes than I ever cared to know, I have learned a lot about myself and what the writers I work with need.

It has been such a joy to work and talk with so many of you this year. You’ve shared your writing needs, worries, and struggles with me. And boy, did I identify with a lot of them. Because as a writer myself, I am walking this walk right along side you. I have similar needs, worries, and struggles in my own writing.

As I reflected on the past year, I realized that there are three values that focus my business and my writing: Creativity, craft, and community.

These three things define my coaching values, center me in my own writing practice, and allow me to integrate my coaching and writing into a cohesive creative life:

CREATIVITY  I want to honor the creative in you. I stuffed down my own creative dreams for years and when I finally set them free, I was amazed at how it enriched all aspects of my life. I believe we should all honor our creative dreams, even if that is just five minutes a day of free writing. Writing heals, empowers, challenges, comforts, teaches, connects. I believe in the power of creativity and want to nurture that power in myself and others. 

CRAFT  I believe we never stop learning as writers. Writing is a craft, something we practice and perfect over and over again with each revision and new manuscript. My goal is to provide writers with compassionate and actionable feedback to augment their writing process. I want to meet writers where they are and help them to level up their skills whether this is their first manuscript or their fifth or their fifteenth.

COMMUNITY  Writers don’t have to go it alone. I have benefitted from collaboration and community my entire career–as a book coach, a writer, a PR executive, and a producer. I believe we can all learn from each other. I think there is power in brainstorming and challenging our own ideas as part of the creative process. Support, encouragement, brainstorming, accountability, and feedback are all ways community can enhance the writing process. 

Defining our values as writers is an important exercise. When the going gets tough–whether it’s the murky middle, revision pass number eight leaving you questioning your talent or your sanity or both, or after that first draft when you realize your story isn’t at all about what you thought it was–it’s valuable to know what it is you value in your creative life. Reminding myself that I choose a creative life, craft isn’t finite and there is room for growth, and I have a community of writers to reach out to for brainstorming help or a kind word of support can help me through any blockage–writer’s or otherwise.

I urge you this week to define your own values for your writing life. Not sure where to get started? Google a list of values and you’ll find a ton of resources listing them. Pick two or three that represent your writing life. You may have others for your parenting life or your work life or relationships. Define these values for your creative life and keep the list at your desk. When you feel lost or challenged or get another rejection, when you find yourself questioning your writing life or trying to decide if an opportunity is right for your writing goals, refer back to your writing values for inspiration, reassurance, and guidance.

I would love to know what you value in a creative life. Share your values in the comments below or over on Instagram.

Want more writing tips? Sign up for my free monthly newsletter!

SUBSCRIBE HERE

Featured photo by Arnel Hasanovic on Unsplash

5 Ways My PR Skills Helped Me Write a Novel

I grew up wanting to be a writer. It was the dream of my heart the moment I realized that the name on the front of the stories I read under the big, bold title was the name of a PERSON. A real life person whose job it was to write that story down.

Each year, on the first day of school, we’d go around the carpet circle and introduce ourselves and inevitably, one of the ice breaker questions would be “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It seems in the 80s, when I was coming up through the ranks, there wasn’t a lot of choice. The majority of the class spouted out generic jobs like “doctor” or “banker” or “lawyer” or “veterinarian” and of course, “teacher.”

I never knew what to say. I knew I didn’t want to be any of those things. I wanted to be a writer. But what did that even look like? As a child, I didn’t know any writers. I went to a pediatrician and we got lollipops at the drive through bank on Friday when my mom made a deposit and we took our cat to the vet and my mom was a paralegal at a law firm and obviously I knew plenty of teachers. But writers? I didn’t have a visual. I didn’t know what it meant. And so I tucked that precious piece of myself inside my heart and only dared to take it out and dust it off when a teacher might make an extra complimentary note on a piece of writing I did for class.

I went to the Duke Young Writer’s Camp in middle school and dabbled in creative writing in high school, even designing my own independent study, but when college came around, I felt the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. I knew college was a serious thing, a thing meant to prepare me for the “real” world. And again, my real world didn’t include writers. They were still mysterious people in cardigan sweaters sipping steaming cups of tea in cabins and pounding away at typewriters. I lived in a suburb in the South where the tea is always iced. So I chose the next best path. I eschewed even taking a creative writing class and instead focused all my energy on journalism school.

I learned how to write a headline (poorly…still not my strong suit) and research an article. I wrote feature articles and press releases. I learned media law and debated journalistic ethics. I focused on public relations and learned how to distill messages to communicate to various audience to influence behavior or educate.

When I started my career, I ended up in media relations where I told stories. Just not my own. I created two minute video news release about how to safely use propane tanks for grilling season. I produced media tours to teach local audiences how to cook with vitamin E rich almonds. I wrote media alerts about youth anti-tobacco campaign stunts. I called reporters and pitched stories for clients from breakthrough medical technologies to high school sports streaming services.

I was good at it. The writing and the telling of the story. I particularly loved pitching new clients with ways they could communicate their stories to people. In the end, however, it wasn’t enough.

That little dreamed I tucked into my heart began demanding space in my outside life.

I wanted to write.

And so I did. And my PR skills came in handier than I though.

Maybe you want to write a novel, too.

The good news? You, too, already have the skills you need to pursue creative writing:

  • You write well. I know that AP Style Book and Chicago Manual of Style aren’t collecting dust on your shelf. You know the mechanics of telling a story succinctly and with purpose. Sure, creative writing is a different muscle BUT you aren’t having to start at square one.
  • You understand story purpose. Every story has a purpose, a message you are trying to convey to your ideal reader. Just like every press release has a key point you’re trying to convey to your target audience. The skills for finding the heart of the message are the same even if the execution is different.
  • You’re already acquainted with writer’s block. You probably haven’t mastered it yet (because who has?) but you are aware of the terror of the blinking cursor on the page. Worse, you know that pressure with a 5pm deadline staring you down. Being comfortable with those feelings of uncertainty is half the battle to pushing through them and putting words (eventually) on the page. You have always managed to do it in the past, you will do it again. And you can do it with your creative writing, too.
  • You are used to summarizing huge amounts of data into digestible chunks. Great! Now you’re ready to write a synopsis and a query letter where you distill an entire novel you wrote into two pages or two paragraphs.
  • Pitching agents is like creating a media list. I spent a lot of time early in my career with the old giant, hunter green Bacon’s media directories researching reporters (if you know, you know) until online databases made it much easier. But much like building a media list, when it’s time to pitch to agents (if you decide to traditionally publish), you will use your same match-making skills to determine who the best agents are for your story. In other words, just like you wouldn’t pitch a health care story to the sports reporter, you won’t want to send your cozy mystery manuscript to a science fiction agent.

If you are a public relations executive or otherwise in communications and dream of writing a novel, don’t wait. Take out that dream you tucked away in your heart, the manuscript you fiddle with on nights at weekends, the idea that won’t let go of your imagination, and honor it.

You don’t have to go it alone!

I invite you to join a small group of PR professionals who also dream of writing in the Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Pros.

Registration closes on Sunday, July 30th, so don’t wait!

JOIN NOW!

You can also read more about the Boot Camp here, here and here!

If you still have questions, reach out to me! Comment below or use this form. I am happy to answer any questions and see if this boot camp is the right fit for you and where you are on your writing journey.

And whether we work together on this boot camp or not, know that I see your dreams. I honor them. I hope you do, too.

Happy Writing!

5 Reasons to Join the Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Pros

Still considering joining the Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Pros starting this August?

START YOUR NOVEL BOOT CAMP INFORMATION

Here are five reasons to say YES!:

Honor your creative/dreamer side

You use your creative side every day at work, whether it’s brainstorming new campaigns or finding original ways to reach your target audience or writing the perfect copy for your press release/annual report/pitch letter/op-ed/social media effort.

Now it’s time to direct that creative spark to your own stories. Honoring that side of yourself won’t deplete your creative reserves for work, in fact, it may make new connections that enhance your creativity at work.

Honoring your dreams, even for just five minutes a day, gives them life and inspiration and can positively impact your own creative mindset.

You need guidance/have questions about the writing life or publishing in general    

When I started writing fiction, I often didn’t know where to turn with questions. In my work life, I had mentors and professional organizations and colleagues who could help or inspire when I needed a boost. But with fiction? Who could I trust? A Google search overwhelmed and the shelf of craft books at the bookstore did, too.

This boot camp will allow you to ask questions to someone who has been there, someone who has read many manuscripts as both a book coach and a professional beta reader, and someone who has been trained and certified by Author Accelerator to provide compassionate, educated feedback. Let me be your guide to finding the answers you need. And when I don’t have the answers, I can certainly help point you to resources I trust and we can find the answer together.

Get clarity on your idea

You may have an idea that’s been bouncing around in your head for years. Maybe you’ve even started or have scraps of notes on napkins and sticky notes that take up space in your desk drawer. I know I did. Before I started my first novel, I had a certain scene that wouldn’t let me go and often flashed in my head during long car rides. I have to admit, though, that sitting down to write a book around that scene wasn’t easy. I didn’t really know what that scene meant to the story whole and I didn’t take the time to think about it before. I just dove in using that scene as scene one. And that worked, to an extent. I managed to crank out a novel-length work. But when I finished, it wasn’t really a cohesive story. And I started again. With a different scene one.

This Boot Camp will walk you through 13 key questions to consider BEFORE you start writing or revising. These questions are designed to give you clarity on your idea so that when you do start writing/revising forward, you have a much more solid foundation to lay your story tracks.

Be a part of a community of fellow PR colleagues also following their creative dreams

Community is so important in the writing world. Whether we just need to vent to someone who gets it when the going gets tough or we need a critique partner or a beta reader or eventually a network to review our books after we’re published, community is key.

There are so many of us in the PR industry who dream of writing novels. This community will uniquely understand the challenges you face in balancing creative writing and work and personal life. Together, we can share what is working and not in our creative lives, ask questions and advice of each other, and hopefully you will come away with some real connections as you create your own writing community.

Experience what it’s like to work with a book coach

I designed this specific Boot Camp to give you both a supportive community that will help each other while also providing you a taste of individual feedback from me. My goal is to approach your work with kindness and respect, challenge you to take your writing to the next level, provide support and guidance, and set you up for success to finish your manuscripts.

Whether we work together in the future or not, I hope this Boot Camp gives you an idea of the kind of feedback available and when it might best serve your specific writing process.

Ready to join?

JOIN NOW!

Have questions? Comment below or contact me here! I want to make sure you pick a workshop that best fits your needs. So let’s chat about it before you commit.

I can’t wait to meet you and your story ideas in August! Registration closes on July 30th.

Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Pros: Your Questions Answered

I am excited to offer a Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Professionals who have always wanted to write a novel this August. Registration is open now until July 30th.

Who is this Boot Camp for?

If you are (or ever were) a public relations or communications professional who has always wanted to try writing a novel, this small group boot camp is for you!

During the boot camp, you will clarify your idea and jump start your writing process with targeted exercises, as well as use group and online discussions to dig into learning more about creative writing and publishing.

As PR Pros, your writing skills are top notch, but writing creatively is a different beast. I want to set you up for success so you can write the book you’ve always dreamed about writing. Will it be perfect when you’re done? Nope. But it won’t be anything if you never even start.

It’s time to honor the creative within and take a chance on your dreams.

What is the time commitment?

Let’s be honest, you are a working professional with commitments beyond the office. I certainly did not design this boot camp to be another burden on your already busy calendar. Instead, I designed this boot camp to give you plenty of time to: complete the exercises, participate in the online community whenever it best fits into your schedule, come to meetings live or recorded, all while still creating boundaries to keep you accountable to your creative goals.

The introductory presentation will be an hour of time. The exercises total 13 questions. The amount of time you spend with them will be up to you. I urge you not to rush through them, but a week should give you more than enough time to complete them. Our final Q&A together will be about an hour. The variable is how much time you spend in our online community asking questions or sharing advice, but it shouldn’t require more than a few minutes a day—less time than it takes to scroll our Instagram feeds at night (just me?).

Again, what you get out will be dependent on what you put in, but my goal is not to overwhelm.

What will I get out of this?

  • Clarity of your idea. You will finish a Mini-Blueprint that will give you the rough parameters of your story’s theme, conflict, and your book’s ideal reader to make you better prepared to write forward.
  • In-document, personalized feedback from me, your book coach boot camp leader, on your Mini-Blueprint. This feedback will help you shore up your story’s foundation making the way forward, whether you’re drafting or revising, easier.
  • A community of peers. During our time together, we will create a community of support where we can share ideas, ask questions, and commiserate about professional/creative/life balance. Every writer benefits from community and my hope is that a few of you may walk away with critique partners or find someone in your local area to meet up with for coffee or at book signings or at the very least spend a few weeks sharing in an experience with like-minded creatives.

What if I want more feedback?

After the course is over, I’d love to have you stay in my community. I do offer additional coaching services and I’d be happy to chat with you to see if there is support I can offer moving forward. We’ll talk a little about what that might look like in the Boot Camp, but I’m always open to chatting about your individual needs and how you can find the right support for them. That may look like additional editorial services or it may be me pointing to you free resources on my blog or making sure you’ve got the right craft book in hand.

What if I can’t make the live meetings?

No worries. Life happens, time zones are challenging, and work deadlines interfere. All calls will be recorded and sent out afterwards for you to watch or rewatch at your convenience. I will also provide an opportunity for you to pre-submit questions for our live meetings so even if you can’t attend live, you can watch any conversation that results during the live meeting. And, finally, there will be ample opportunity to ask questions and participate in discussions in the online community.

How do I join?

That’s easy! Click the button below and let’s get started on honoring your creative dreams!

JOIN NOW!

Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone to Realize Your Creative Dreams

Earlier this week we went to Washington, DC with the kids. I am not exactly a confident traveler. My anxiety tends to peak thinking with all the uncertainty around what we’ll be doing or how to get from here to there or when and where we’ll be eating.

But this trip, I was totally comfortable.

Why?

We lived in DC right after I graduated from college. I navigated Metro before maps on our phone were a thing. I walked everywhere. I learned neighborhoods and how the city connected.

It was familiar. And so even when we were headed somewhere new (the Nationals ballpark), I didn’t spiral into my typical angst.

As we traversed the city, however, I pointed out places to my kids that held memories. And, looking back, lots of them were scary. They were the things I did as a young professional when everything was outside my comfort zone. The jobs I interviewed for and didn’t get. The places I got lost. The meetings I walked into feeling unprepared. The pitches I made when I felt insecure. The spots I interviewed really important people for video news releases knowing I was responsible for making them look good.

And yet, I had walked into each of those spaces despite the fear and survived. Maybe even thrived at times. Taking professional risks early in my career was scary, always, but I had support. Folks who wanted to see my succeed. Colleagues who were there to catch me when I failed or back me up when they knew I was right. Bosses who advocated for me and held me accountable. Mentors who answered my questions and imparted the lessons they’d learned on their own journeys.

Taking a risk on our creative dreams can be super scary, like starting a new job or moving to a new city.

And, due to the solitary nature of writing, we are often doing it without the safety net of colleagues, bosses, and mentors.

That’s where I can help.

I want to see writers succeed. I am trained to catch you when you fall by giving you feedback and back you up when you’re right so you can learn from your own successes. I will advocate for your creative goals and hold you accountable so you can finish what you’ve started. I can be the mentor who offers craft tips, answers your questions, and shares the hard-earned lessons I learned in the beginning of my writing journey.

I can make the unfamiliar familiar as you write to make the process a little less daunting at each step. I can light the way and show you a path forward. I can be there for you when the mistakes are made or the doubts creep in.

Don’t let the unfamiliar keep you from experiencing the joys and satisfaction of living a creative life.

Take a risk.

Write the book.

Honor the creative in you.

And when your’e done, it will feel more familiar the next time. And even more familiar the time after that.

The beauty is there are always new things to explore no matter how familiar a place is, just like when we went back to DC this week. It just feels less scary to try them when we already feel safe.

My goal as a book coach is to help writers feel safe so they can tell their stories.

If you want more information on how I can do this, check out my webpage.

And if you’re a PR professional who has always dreamt of writing a book, check out my Start Your Novel Boot Camp this August designed specifically for you. You’ll gain clarity on your story idea so you can write forward with confidence and be part of a community of PR pros who also want to write creatively. Plus, I will be with you every step of the way.

START YOUR NOVEL BOOT CAMP INFORMATION & SIGN UP

Start Your Novel Boot Camp for PR Pros

 Are you a public relations or communications professional who always dreamed of writing a novel?

Did you shelve your own creative pursuits for a more practical job that showcased your writing skills?

Are you unsure if your novel idea is “good enough” or where to even start?

Is your bookshelf groaning under the weight of craft books with conflicting advice?

Or does it all seem too hard or too time consuming to even contemplate writing a book while balancing your day job and personal life?  

I have been there!! 

I wanted to be a writer since I understood the names on the front of the books I inhaled like oxygen were real people whose job was to write them.

But somewhere in high school, after working on the literary magazine and before college applications, I began to put creative writing in a separate place in my mind. A frivolous place. A place for childhood dreams.

I replaced my dreams with practicality. I started college and bumped around the English department a bit while somehow avoiding the creative writing department as something too indulgent. I landed in the journalism school eventually navigating to the public relations track and found something that seemed to marry my writing skills with communication theory. It seemed too good to be true: Writing and employment opportunity.

And it was great. Until it wasn’t. I still wanted to write. Needed to write. I realized that if I didn’t try to write a novel, I would always regret it.

So I wrote a novel.

Slowly. Poorly. I loved and hated it the process in equal measure. I learned as I went. I felt alone a lot of the time. I made a whole lot of mistakes. And then, I finished it. I pitched it. I wrote another. I joined WFWA and found a group of writing colleagues to learn from. I took classes.

And in the writing (and rewriting) of the second book, I realized all I didn’t know the first time around.

Since then, I’ve written a third novel (currently querying) and became a book coach.

I felt so stuck so many times in my journey to becoming a writer that I wanted to help other writers avoid the same mistakes I made. I love the feeling of helping a writer free themselves from what’s holding them back and break through to the solutions that allow them to tell the story they wish to tell.

During the course of my book coaching, I realized several of my clients were also in the public relations field. Seems I wasn’t the only one who put aside creative dreams for practical purposes only to be lured back to the page eventually.

And it got me to thinking: How many of us are out there? How many are afraid to start because they aren’t sure where to begin? How many stop because they are slowly making their way through the same learn as you go process I went through but might keep going if they had a little guidance and help?

If you are a PR pro and have ever wanted to write a novel but aren’t sure where to start, I am so excited to announce that I have created the Start Your Novel Boot Camp specifically for you! 

JOIN NOW!

The Start Your Novel Boot Camp is a three-week program that will include a live presentation, tools to clarify your story idea, individual feedback from a trained book coach (that’s me!) to give you the confidence to write forward with this idea, an opportunity for live Q&A with me to get your writing and publishing questions answered, and a private online community where you can connect with other PR pros who want to write a novel. 

Writing as a professional to communicate is telling a story but not exactly the same as writing a novel. When you finish the three-week program, you will have the foundation you need to write your novel as well as a community of support that understands your unique struggles.

If you are in PR or communications and have always dreamt of writing a novel, I invite you to join us this August. You can see the schedule and more information here.

SIGN UP NOW!

Not ready to sign up yet but want to be kept up to date on the program? Sign up for updates here. Registration will close on July 30th.

Story Setting Matters

I was born in Massachusetts and lived there until I was five when my dad’s job transferred him to North Carolina. We lived in a small town about an hour west of Boston in a house that was originally built in the 1800s as the town’s fire station. During World War II, the home’s cupola that once housed the bell to warn the townspeople of a fire was used as a lookout station (a nearby Army fort housed German and Italian prisoners of war and I guess the threat of bombers attacking was a real and present danger). 

My first real memories are in this home. Watching the Wizard of Oz with my dad and being interrupted by the call that there had been a fire at the Kmart where my mom worked evenings. Hiding under the canopy of the blueberry bushes that grew at the edge of the wood in the backyard and picking their fruit for Sunday morning pancakes. Standing on a chair in the bathroom next to my dad and pretending to shave by scraping off shaving cream from my face with a toothbrush handle. Falling asleep after trick-or-treating and smearing my clown make-up on the sofa. Slicing off a good portion of the tip of my finger on a piece of wood when my dad was building me a sandbox (no worries, they reattached it…true story). Playing Wiffle ball with a friend’s family in the back yard, the parents more competitive than the kids. Waiting in the driveway for a neighbor or friend to drive by and give us a ride to the town beach because we only had one car and my dad drove it to work. Watching parachute drills in the sky at the same nearby fort that in the 80s housed a Special Forces Group. Playing with the little girl next door in her small plastic pool filled with frigid hose water. Going to the town library and meeting who would be my first real friend that I remember (the neighbor more a playmate of convenience who I tended to avoid after she cut a huge chunk of hair off my head once). Going to Easter services at the small, white Catholic church, me and my sister in matching pretty dresses and white gloves and shiny new patent leather shoes with beaded purses dangling off our wrists.

This past weekend, my sister and I were in Massachusetts to attend an aunt’s memorial service. We were staying about 20 minutes away from our old house and so we decided to check it out.

The house, ironically, was damaged by fire in 2015 and has not been repaired since. From what I can tell, a few sales have been attempted then fell through. Now it’s abandoned. Decaying. The yard full of weeds and overgrowth so high that I didn’t spot a deer hiding in it until it leapt away at the sound of our voices. 

The house was a brick red color when we lived there. I’m not a huge fan of the yellow, but the scalloped siding in yellow does make me think of Big Bird and the 5 year old in me doesn’t hate that.

My sister doesn’t remember the house at all. And yet, I had all these memories. Memories that in the days since being back continue to flood my brain. Memories I’m shocked to remember more than 40 years later.

But that’s the magic of setting. Our personal stories are marked by the sights, sounds, scents, and texture of the places in which our triumphs, failures, joys, and heartbreaks have occurred. Setting triggered my own backstory in a real way.

Setting does the same for our characters.

Together with family this weekend, an uncle told a story my father often shared with us when we were growing up. His parents went square dancing every Saturday night (when you have seven kids you definitely need a night to yourselves) and my great-grandmother, my father’s grandmother, would come to watch the kids. Each Saturday, she brought a Hershey’s chocolate bar for the kids to share. Apparently, the kids anxiously awaited grandma falling asleep during Lawrence Welk so they could switch the channel to Perry Mason. Every time my dad heard the Perry Mason theme song the rest of his life, he’d crave chocolate. My mom used to wash my hair on Saturday nights in the kitchen sink. I don’t remember why we did that, but I remember the urgency of being done by 8pm so I could watch Diff’rent Strokes. If I hear that show’s theme song, I immediately smell the iconic Johnson & Johnson yellow shampoo.

These are the details that make our lives rich and vibrant. Don’t forget them in your own work. A street corner may remind your protagonist of their hometown or a scent may transport them back to a moment of fear or a theme song may bring them comfort as they remember the sweet treat a relative brought them.

If you are writing contemporary fiction, it can be easy to overlook setting. Genres like science fiction, fantasy or even historical fiction require much more detailed and deliberate world-building to make the story sing. But don’t miss the opportunity to enhance your character through setting. Have your protagonist interact with setting in new and creative ways. Let it trigger back story or color the protagonist’s motivations.

Since I’ve been home, my own interaction with setting has created new motivations. I’ve been trying to convince my husband we should buy the old house and fix it. Turn it onto something new and beautiful. Love it. Care for it. Shine it to its former glory.

I don’t remember what the inside of that cupola looks like, but I just need enough space for a laptop and it would be the perfect writing space, wouldn’t it?

With what money would we accomplish this dream of mine, I don’t know. But my pull to this place was strong. My desire to immerse myself in it undeniable. Perhaps its the fact that drops of my blood from the finger incident stained the floor and my DNA is literally a part of that structure, or maybe it’s just the five year old in me, so full of discovery, awakened by returning to this place of childlike wonder. Maybe it’s my father in me who designed homes and worked to preserve historical buildings when he could and seeing this place uncared for that he once loved enough to move his family into tugs at my grief.

Whatever the reason, this unique setting plays a major role.

What role does setting play in your story?

Featured photo by oxana v on Unsplash

Writers: Don’t Let Doubt Kill Your Dreams

Doubt is an insidious little jerk.

Seriously.

Doubt tells us we aren’t good enough, makes us question our motives and abilities, convinces us we don’t have what it takes and probably should leave the writing to the Steven Kings or Ann Patchetts of the world. Doubt steals our motivation, stifles our creativity, and convinces us our dreams are too far out of reach to even take a step toward attaining them.

But much like every villain is the hero of their own story, doubt honestly thinks its job is to save us from certain failure and humiliation.

The problem?

Doubt is so overprotective its attempts at protecting us can also lead us to not even try, therefore keeping us from potential success, too.

Doubt keeps us from finishing. Worse, doubt can keep us from starting.

So what do we do?

First, do you want to be a writer?

I’m guessing you do or you wouldn’t be here on this page, reading these words, searching for inspiration to disarm your doubt.

Do you write?

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you do. Whether it’s a blog like this or scribbles in a journal or a poem or an essay or a novel, you write.

Guess what? You are a writer.

We need to start here by acknowledging to our doubt that inherently, we are writers. This is part of our being, our essence, ourselves. It’s a lot harder for doubt to bump up into our confidence, so own the label of writer.

But doubt isn’t that easily swayed. So, what do we do when doubt tells us we aren’t a good enough writer or we shouldn’t call ourselves a writer because we aren’t published or we should quit because we just finished the latest Barbara Kingsolver and there is no way we are ever going to stack up?

We write.

Okay, Monica, that’s nice, but my doubt is still whispering negative thoughts in my brain and I am worried I’ll never be ready/good enough/strong enough/whatever enough.

Fine. I get it. It’s a lot easier to say just write than actually writing when our individual brand of doubt can be so damn convincing.

Remember what doubt’s purpose is. Doubt doesn’t want you to get hurt. So maybe make friends with doubt then repurpose that doubt to serve your writing.

For example:

  • When doubt tells you “You aren’t good enough to write that particular story” say, “Thank you, doubt. You may be right. This is a difficult story to tell. I’m going to just take a stab at a draft and see what comes out of it. I don’t have to show it to anyone at all.”
  • When doubt tells you “You aren’t good enough to be published” respond with “This draft may not be good enough to be published YET, but I have a solid revision plan and some beta readers/critique partners/support on standby to give me some feedback.”
  • And when doubt says, “You should just give up,” challenge it. “Doubt, I can hear that you are scared, but why should I give up? I love writing. Writing is fun for me and interesting. I love telling stories. If it’s all the same to you, I think I’m going to keep doing this thing and see where it takes me.”

Granted, most of us won’t be Barbara Kingsolver or Ann Patchett or Steven King, but we came to the page with something to say and because we love playing with words. So do that thing. Write.

Let doubt have a small voice when you’re editing. Let it question and push you to be better. But whatever you do, don’t ever let doubt convince you to quit.

Writers write.

And when you’ve finished a draft, celebrate that success. Remind doubt that it thought you couldn’t do it and you did. And maybe, just maybe, doubt is wrong about some of the other negative things it tells you, too.

Chip away at your doubt, one word at a time, until you believe in your skills, trust in your abilities, and have confidence in your writing to tell doubt that you are already good enough and getting better at the same time.

Both are true.

Because you are a writer.

No doubt about it.

Featured photo by Nik on Unsplash

What is Success for a Writer?

Is it the New York Times bestseller list? A Reese’s Book Club pic? Becoming a BookTok sensation? Earning enough to pay off your student loan? Earning enough to quit your day job? Walking the red carpet at your book’s big movie premier with all the hottest stars playing your lead roles?

Those goals all sound great and I wouldn’t begrudge you a single one of them. The problem?

None of them are in your control.

The only things that are in your control are:

  • Whether you finish the book you are writing
  • The quality of the book you write
  • Pitching the book to the right agents and editors
  • Surrounding yourself with a supportive community
  • Nurturing relationships that will help lift your book up when it comes to market
  • Striving to strengthen your craft with each new book or draft

In other words, you get to define success internally. Not externally.

For me, I crave external validation of my work as much as the next writer, but to be truly successful, I have to trust my own barometer. Not an easy lift, but one that gets better the more I work on it. For instance, my most recent success? I finished a giant rewrite and polish of my manuscript last week. It wasn’t easy, but I learned so much about this book as well as found new systems that worked to get me across the finish line. Is it published yet? Has it earned out that imaginary advance yet? Has Reese called yet? Nope. But I basked in my well-earned success all weekend anyway.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is an NBA basketball player whose team lost early in the NBA playoffs this year. When asked if he viewed the season as a failure, he had this to say (watch the video, it’s only 2 minutes and worth your time):

Watch it again and wherever he says sports, replace it with writing.

Take a step back from that initial list above of out of our control measurements of writing success and reflect: What is success for you?

Maybe success is writing five minutes every day for a month when last year you only wrote for five minutes one day a month. Maybe success is planning ahead with a tool like the Author Accelerator Blueprint for a Book to write more efficiently. Maybe success is identifying your story’s point and highlighting that theme during revision. Maybe success is knowing when to ask for help to learn new techniques/craft. Maybe success is sending out five more queries after a rejection. Maybe success is finding a critique partner and being vulnerable by trading pages. Maybe success is as simple as saying “I am a writer” out loud. Maybe success is taking your writing seriously and investing in a course or coach.

The fact is, while getting on the New York Times bestseller list is out of your control, you’ll never get there if you don’t write, don’t finish, or don’t query.

What does it mean to YOU to be successful as a writer?

Now, go and do one thing today to be a successful writer.

Featured photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash